I Can't Go On
by reviewgirl911
Summary: After a tragic accident, Emily leaves Boulder and goes off to see an old friend. A year later, she's living in LA, working as a waitress. What happens when she starts to see faces from her past? Can they convince her to let go of her demons and come home?
1. The Summary

Emily Kmetko thought she finally had it all: her mom had finally found love with Steve Tanner, her family didn't have to worry about money because of Chloe's marriage to Steve, she had friends and teammates she trusted, a hot gymnastics career, and a rock star who was waiting for her. She didn't think her life would come to a startling halt after a car accident leaves a friend dead. Stricken with grief, Emily leaves Boulder without a word and meets up with an old childhood friend, giving up her life-long dream. A year goes by and Emily still hasn't gotten over the death she thinks was her fault. A run-in with faces from the past might just be the wake-up call Emily needs. Who will be able to help Emily heal and go on with her dream?


	2. The Accident

Flashback: 1 year ago

We were driving to the Pizza Shack to celebrate our victories at Worlds. Kaylie was riding shotgun in my new car, a red Cadillac Steve Tanner or "Dad" as he wanted me to call him insisted on giving me so I wouldn't have to walk to the gym, and Payson was in the back. My mom's third marriage was taking a while for me to get use to, but I was happy that she was happy. If Lauren would only stop being such a bitch, my life would be a lot easier. Luckily, Lauren had chose to ride with Carter, so I didn't have to deal with her today.

"Hey, Em, are you going to call Damon?" Kaylie asked me as she fixed her hair in the mirror. With her long brown hair, tan skin, and girly demeanor, Kaylie definitely looked the part of the crowd favorite she was. I looked at my own reflection in the rearview mirror: short, curly brown hair, pale skin, bony everything. I definitely didn't look like someone who had just won the all-around at Worlds, but I was. I, Emily Kmetko, the girl who trained in jungle gyms most of her life, won the all-around. Kaylie had come in a close second, while Lauren came in fourth. Payson was still rebuilding her career as an artistic gymnast, but we all knew she'd be ready for Nationals.

"No," I mumbled quietly. Kaylie just gave me a sympathetic look while Payson nodded her head. Neither of them understood the relationship Damon and I had. Heck, I didn't understand it. I wouldn't even call it a relationship right now. It was nothing but a promise to meet under the Eiffel Tower after the Olympics in 2012. It had been our compromise in France, our way of saying goodbye without saying goodbye. Some days I appreciate the fact that Damon understands I need to focus on my gymnastics and other days, I just want him to just randomly appear and take me away. I still keep tabs on him. I've been following his tour every step of the way.

"Good for you. Keep the focus on your gymnastics." Payson replied firmly. She was still an avid believer in the no dating rule in place at the gym. Kaylie, Lauren, and I were all non-believers, but Kaylie and I would never tell Payson that. Siding with Lauren on anything is never a good idea.

"Go easy on her, Pay. She just beat the National champ. I think her focus is just where it needs to be." Kaylie joked. I could detect a smidge of bitterness but I didn't say anything. Instead, I flipped on the radio and Rock What You Got by Superchick filled the speakers. We started to sing along. "Rock what you got, rock what you got, don't ever let them make you stop, rock what you got, rock what you got, no one can rock the way you rock!" we sang at the top of our lungs. I burst out laughing. It felt good to have friends.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of glass shattering. I looked sideways and saw that a car had rammed into the passenger side. "Kaylie! Payson!" I screamed. I needed them to respond. They had to respond. "KAYLIE! PAYSON!" I screamed louder.

"Emily, I'm fine. It's okay." Payson reassured me. I turned to face her and she gasped. "Emily, your hand!" she shouted with concern. I looked down and saw a chunk of glass stuck in my hand. Blood started to drip down my arm and onto my jeans. I ignored it.

I noticed that Kaylie had answered me. I looked over and saw that her eyes were closed. "KAYLIE! KAYLIE, WAKE UP!" I shouted again. "Payson, she's not waking up!" I muttered hysterically.

"I'll call 911," she answered calmly. I was started to get mad at Payson for not getting upset like I was. Then I saw her eyes. Her eyes were a give-away to the fear and concern she had for her friend. I then knew she was just keeping it together for me. I started to cry. I heard Payson give the information of our accident to the 911 person.

It seemed like an eternity that we sat in that car, crying and waiting. I finally saw a flash of red lights and two bulky men carrying a stretcher. "Who's hurt?" the bald one asked. Payson pointed to Kaylie and me. They put Kaylie on to a stretcher. When the other guy reached out to help me out, I smacked his arm away. I got out and followed Payson to the ambulance. She wasn't hurt, but she somehow knew that I couldn't be alone. It didn't hurt when the bald guy pulled that chunk of glass out of my hand or put in five stitches. It was almost like I was numb to the pain. I kept asking about Kaylie but no one would give an answer.

"Em, it's okay. They know what they're doing. Kaylie will be fine." Payson reassured me for the hundredth time.

"This is all my fault!" I blubbered in between sobs. Right now, all I want to do is run. Run far and long, just like my mother always did. I couldn't count the number of places we'd lived, the number of "fresh starts" we've had. Of all those places, only two stick out to me. Here and Las Vegas. Las Vegas is the place where I met my best friend, Julie, when I was ten. Our moms were both cocktail waitresses at the same sleazy casino. Our moms would stick us in the back room while they worked their shifts. I taught Julie how to do a standing tuck and she taught me how to draw a bunny. Within a month, we were inseparable best friends. We lived there a year, until my mom was fired by her dirtbag boyfriend, the manager. I was upset that I'd had to leave my best friend, but we swore to keep in touch. And we did. The first day in any new place would be the day I'd take pictures and write a letter to send to Julie. She'd send updates on her life, her mom, and people we knew. I saw her a week ago at Worlds. She had been ecstatic.

"This could have happened to anyone. It's not your fault." Payson replied.

"I was driving! It happened in my car! It is my fault!" I snapped at her.

"That car would've still rammed into us whether I was driving or even if we were in Kaylie's car!" Payson shouted at me. I just started to cry. Payson broke down and started to cry with me. We sat in the ambulance, crying, until it stopped.

A woman stepped in and said, "Hello girls. My name is Ginger Rodriguez. I have some bad news about your friend. She didn't make it. I am very sorry. Your families are waiting for you inside the hospital." Payson nodded, tears in her eyes, as she made her way to the front door. I couldn't follow her. I couldn't face anyone, especially Kaylie's parents. I ran in the other direction.

Payson saw me running and shouted, "Emily, where are you going?" I didn't have answer for her; I had no clue where I was going. I just knew I couldn't be here.

I dug through the bag I remembered to grab out of my car. I found my phone and was tempted to call Damon, but I couldn't talk to him either. Instead, I dialed Julie's number and got her voicemail. "Hey, Jules, it's Em. Um.. I'm leaving Boulder and I might be heading your way. I.. can't tell you why I'm leaving now but I will later. And if my mom calls you, don't tell her where I'm going. See you soon. Bye." I said, my voice shaky and tears running down my face. I walked the four miles to the Tanner-Kmetko resident. I knew I didn't have much time, so I opened the door and rushed upstairs.

I slammed the door of my room and grabbed a suitcase from my closet. I threw in all my clothes and necessities into that bag. I then grabbed a duffel and threw in my medals, photos, and cds. I snuck into Brian's room and took one of his pinky rings to remember him by. I then snuck into my mom's room and took one of her photo albums. I even went into Lauren's room and took one of her purses. I threw all these things into the duffel bag. I then made sure my room looked spotless. I wrote a quick note before taking a taxi to the airport.

Dear Everyone,

I'm sorry. I have to leave. I can't be here. Tell Payson to kick Kelly Parker's ass at Nationals. I might not call. Don't come looking for me. Mom, you spent my whole childhood making us run away. This time, I'm running away for me. Tell Sasha I'm sorry. I'll be long gone by the time you get this.

Love,

Emily


	3. The Aftermath

Present day- Los Angles, CA

After I left Boulder, I headed to Las Vegas to see Julie. She had been waiting for me, worried out of her mind. She kept asking me what was wrong until I finally broke down and told her about the accident. Julie held me while I sobbed and agreed to come with me on my adventure. I needed change, and what better way to do that than go all over the country. We stopped in nearly every state and major city in four months. We both assumed fake names in case anyone tried to look for us. Julie did this for my sake. I couldn't face all those people I'd disappointed. We eventually settled in Los Angles of all places. It reminded me of the good stuff, that pool party and Damon. We found a cheap apartment above a surf shop and became quick friends with the owner, Mr. Connor, and his family, who took us under their wing and became our family. I found us half-decent day jobs at a diner not too different from the Pizza Shack. There was no meth-addict as our manager, but there were cute co-workers. I had little interest, but Julie had some fun flirting. The guys, Rick, Sam, and Tony, became our closest friends in LA. We also became close with Tony's sister, Rina. I had a blast in LA. My favorite part about it was that it had nothing in common with Boulder.

I looked in the mirror trying to recognize the stranger I saw. While we were traveling, I let my hair grow long, down to my ribs. I also cut wispy bangs. Julie, being the eccentric she is, streaked her hair with green. I let her do a single blue streak by the side of my face. The streak made my eyes look a different color, more hazel than brown. No one who was looking for me would ever recognize me. My face had thinned out a bit from lack of eating since we didn't have much money on the trip. Surprisingly, I didn't gain much weight from not training. Tony taught us how to surf, and I still went on five mile runs. My body just couldn't stand not being in shape. My hand still had a scar from where the stitches were. I took to wearing fingerless gloves or a bandage whenever I went out. I didn't tell anyone how I got it.

I kept an eye on the world of gymnastics. Julie told me I was torturing myself, but it was torture I needed. I watched clips of Payson's new routines, amazed at her new skills. I watched the grief over Kaylie's death and was disgusted with myself. I watched clips of Kelly Parker's fall on the beam in Spain and laughed for twenty minutes. I wasn't thrilled to see that there was an Emily Kmetko spotter on the website, but I was pleased that no one had been able to spot me. I wanted so badly to call the National Committee and shout "Here I am!" I knew I couldn't, but some days I felt like I needed to.

"Emily, come on! We're going to be late!" Julie shouted as she ran up the stairs into the apartment. Her short blond hair was curled lightly, her blue eyes bright and eager. She was wearing a sliver mini-dress with sparkly gladiator sandals and bangles. Her makeup was done perfectly and her nails were freshly painted. She looked like a movie star, not someone who was working a minimum wage paying waitress gig and living in a cheap apartment with her screw-up best friend. Of course, every time I told her this, she insisted I wasn't a screw-up and that we were living the bachelorette lifestyle. This made me laugh since neither of us had been on a date since we arrived.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back to her. I grabbed the white hobo bag I had stolen from Lauren's closet. We were meeting the guys and Rina at some new night club to hear Rina's favorite band, who were the opening act. Though I wasn't dressed up like Julie, I still looked nice in a blue tank top, a white demin mini-skirt, and blue flip-flops. Once we had settled into our apartment, Julie had insisted on revamping both our wardrobes. I let her, only keeping my warm-up and leotards. I had no clue why I even packed them, but I felt compelled to keep them.

"Ready to roll?" Julie asked me as I walked down the narrow stairs into the surf shop. She did a little happy dance. Julie does that dance a lot and at the weirdest times. She even does it while taking orders at work.

I laughed. "Let's go," I responded as I pushed her towards the door. It wasn't long before we saw a huge fire truck or "the Partymobile" as Rick called it. He had salvaged it from the junkyard and fixed it up. The horn does work, but the last time we used it he had to pay a $300 fine. He had painted the inside green and white, which always made us want Sprite. Luckily, there was also a mini-fridge he kept stocked at all time. We convinced him to add surround sound a few months ago, so you could never hear yourself think. Rick always starts the night by betting on how many "hot babes" he can get to come home with him at the end of the night. In reality, the only girls driving home with him are the ones he picked up aka Julie, Rina, and I.

"Hey, Rick, where's Sam tonight? He owes me twenty bucks." Julie asked with an evil glint in her eye.

"He had to work tonight. Did he lose another bet?" Rick replied quickly. Sam and Julie were each trying to out-bet the other and currently Sam was losing.

"Yes, he failed to walk backwards carrying each of his orders and giving them to the right customer." she answered with a laugh.

"Your mind is evil," I told my best friend.

"Thank you very much." Julie replied with a flip of her hair.

"So, Rina, who's this band we're going to see tonight?" Tony changed the topic as he walked over to the mini fridge, opening it. He took out five Sprites, tossing one to each of us. Tony reminds me of Leo in a way. He has short black hair, a surfer's body, green eyes, and tan skin. He is always thinking of everyone around him and puts their needs before his own. Julie had a huge crush on him when we first started working at the diner, but she discovered it wasn't meant to be when she saw him making out with some dude by the pier. None of us mind that he's gay. Really, it's not even something we notice anymore. He's just Tony.

"They're awesome! I saw them once at a party, but that was when they had all the original members. One of the guys went solo and hired them as his opening act." Rina answered excitedly before taking a sip of her Sprite. Rina may look like sugar, spice, and everything nice with her pale skin, huge amber eyes, wavy black hair down to her chest, and small frame, but she's a force to be reckoned with. She kind of reminds me of Lauren, but in the best way. God, I never thought I'd say someone reminded me of Lauren in the best way. Rina's assertive, maybe a bit bossy, but she's loyal and sassy and won't stand for anybody messing with her friends. She was the first person in this town who I was sure I could count on.

"Wait, what's their name?" I asked out of curiosity. What kind of band could you just go to party to see? I remember going to that kegger with Kaylie and Payson. I was surprised to see Razor there and was freaking out about the dress my mom bought me that I really couldn't pull off. I also met Damon that night and had thought that he was a real asshole. I remember what Razor had said before they began their set. "This one is for all those girls who like to keep me guessing. Your secrets are safe with me." Damon then leaned over into the microphone, looked straight at me, and said, "That's right, Kmetko, he's talking to you." I started to blush as Kaylie, already smashed, started to go on and on about how I knew the band. Payson was clearly concerned and asked me how well I knew them. I would love to rewind back to that moment, even with the punishment we received the next day.

"The Shelter Pups. I saw them once at a kegger in Boulder. I was visiting my cousin." she answered nonchalantly. I felt a panic attack coming on. Razor and Damon in the same room. I didn't think I could handle that. Damon doesn't know what's happened, unless he's been keeping tabs on me, which I doubt he would do. I can't see Damon. I'll break down into tears and make an idiot out of myself. I can't bring myself to tell him that I won't be wearing gold when I met him in France because I bailed on my dream.

Julie looked over at me and noticed I had suddenly gone pale. "Em, you don't look so good. Are you going to be okay?" she asked while motioning for Rick to stop the car.

"I'll be better after a drink," I replied while running my hands through my hair. Julie patted me on the back while Rina rummaged through her purse. She finally found a round, squishy object and handed it to me. I looked at it more closely and saw that it was a stress ball. I raised my eyebrows at her as if to ask "You actually carry this around with you?" Rina shrugged. I did feel better, if not a bit stupid, after squeezing it for a few minutes.

"Wait, did I just hear Prohibition Sally say she is going to have a drink? I think I need my ears checked." Rick joked. Everyone glared at him. He raised his hands in mock surrender. I breathed out. This was going to be a long night.


	4. The Rockstar's Home

Damon's POV

I was excited to back in LA. Hell, I was glad to back in America! Europe was great, but there are some things you can only get at home. I was dying to go home and see Emily. I knew that we had agreed to met under the Eiffel Tower after the 2012 Olympics, but that was in two years. I needed to see here know. I hopped a flight to Boulder, where I learned some good and bad news. I went to see Razor to ask him if the Shelter Pups wanted to be my opening act at a couple night club gigs in LA. He immediately accepted the offer and froze up when I asked him what time Emily was coming in.

"Um, dude, she doesn't work here anymore," Razor replied nervously.

I shrugged. "Okay then, I'll just go over to her place." I said nonchalantly. I was walking toward the door when his voice stopped me.

"Dude, she won't be there either," Razor told me, staring at the ground.

All of this was starting to frustrate me. "Well, where is she? At a meet or something?" I asked, annoyed.

"That's the thing, bro. No one knows where she is. She took off, vanished. No one's heard from her in a year." Razor answered nervously. At first, I thought he was lying, but Razor is a horrible liar.

"What happened?" I asked, desperate to know where Emily was.

"Her and those other girls, the brunette one and the non-bossy blonde one, were driving here to celebrate their win at Worlds or something. Emily won the all-around and the brunette and bossy blond both won something. They were driving and a car slammed into the passenger side. The blonde one was fine and Emily just needed five stitches in her hand, but the brunette died on impact. Emily felt really responsible, since she was driving. She packed up all her stuff and left a note. No one has seen her since." Razor told me, clearly glad that I finally knew the story.

I was in total shock. How could Emily give up on her dream? We made a pact to follow both our dreams. She had won Worlds, for god's sake. She gave up. Something she told me crept back into my mind. "My mom, she always ran away from places when things got hard. We never stayed and fought. This the first place I've stayed and fought." I knew she was just going back to what's comfortable for her, which is running away. That is the only thing she's ever seen anyone do. Her mom, her dad, even me.

It took me a while to say something. "Thanks, dude. I'll call you about all the airline crap and stuff tomorrow?" I told him as I grabbed my jacket.

"Don't rock stars have fancy agents and managers to do that stuff for them?" Razor mocked.

I shock my head. "Sorry, but I prefer not to be turned into some cookie cutter pop sensation." I answered as I walked out the door. I actually did have a manager, but I didn't let him handle anything too important. I spent a hour driving around Boulder. It hadn't changed much, or at all. Before I knew it, I was in the parking lot of the Rocky Mountain Training Center. I don't know what compelled me to go here. I just knew that this was were Emily felt at home. That was enough for me.

I walked into the Rock, not knowing what to expect. Suddenly, I spotted the bossy blonde one and Carter arguing. I think her name is Laura or Lauren or something. I'm almost positive it starts with an L.

"Hey, Carter, what's up man?" I said as he turned to face me. His expression was shocked, but it soon turned into a grin.

"Hey, Damon. Not much is happening here. Same old, same old. So, when did you get back? How was Europe?" he asked, reminding me what a resemblance he had to a puppy. Maybe that is why all those girls are fighting over him.

Before I could answer him, the bossy blonde one piped in. "Have you seen Emily?" she demanded, her eyes full of rage. She looked like she wanted to wring out my neck.

"Lauren!' Carter scolded her, his eyebrows raised in that "What the hell are you doing?" kind of way.

"What? She was mooning over him before the accident. I just thought that maybe she went to Europe to be comforted by Pizza Boy." she defended, shrugging her shoulders to make it look like she didn't care. Too bad her face didn't match her I don't care attitude. Her forehead was scrunched up in worry and her snake like lips were set in a concerned expression. I knew Lauren was worried about Emily even though she was rumored to not possess a heart.

"Ah, the bitch of the beam has a heart after all," I replied sarcastically. That was what Emily had told me the other girls called Lauren behind her back.

"Okay, let's get this straight, Band Boy. Emily's gone, which makes my stepmother unhappy and that makes my dad unhappy. Then I'm unhappy. So it's in everyone's best interest to find her." Lauren lied through her teeth. I knew Chloe and Mr. Tanner had gotten married, but I knew there was more of a reason to find Emily than that to Lauren. She knew her team was already missing a member due to unforeseen circumstances, but it was worse to have a team member run off without a word.

"Wait, I thought I was Pizza Boy? Did I get an upgrade?" I mocked, trying to see when she would snap. Instead, I got the ice queen glare and a ponytail whip right in the face. Carter just shook his head and followed Lauren to the uneven bars, where they resumed their argument. That relationship baffled me. How did Carter not bang his head against the wall every second of the day?

My thoughts then wandered to where Emily would have gone. I remembered her telling me about her non-gymnast best friend, Julie, who lived in Las Vegas. She was the reason Emily had loved her family's year in that city. For a year, they were as close as sisters until Chloe decided to pack up and leave again. The girls had stayed in touch and were still pretty close. I remember seeing a picture of them together on a jungle gym. Julie had blonde hair and calm blue eyes. A light bulb went off in my head. Las Vegas! I didn't need to be in LA for a week, so I had time to go check it out. If she wasn't there, maybe the friend was. Or someone else who knew where Emily went. I would go to Chloe first and tell her my plan. If she objected, I wouldn't go.

I took a cab to the Kmetko/Tanner resident. It was certainly an upgrade from their crappy apartment they first lived in after arriving in Boulder. I knocked on the door and some Portuguese maid answered the door. "Um, may I please speak to Mrs. Tanner?" I asked in English, praying that she understood what I was saying. She nodded and briskly walked into another room. I stepped into the foyer, clearly seeing the elements Chloe had added to the house. Cheetah print pillows, disco ball, and a framed black and white picture of Emily, Brian, and her over the mantle. Emily had her short hair and side bangs. I wondered what she looked like now.

"Damon! Oh, it's see great to see you! When did you get back?" Chloe asked, obviously surprised but pleased with my visit. She hadn't changed much in her signature skin-tight cheetah print dress, wild curls, and electric blue eyeliner. The one thing missing was the sparkle in her eye. I'm guessing Emily took that with her too.

"Today actually. Early today. I went to the Pizza Shack to Razor." I said casually.

Chloe nodded sympathetically. "You heard the news," she said, her voice flat and void of emotion. I just shook my head yes. She broke down crying, blubbering like crazy. "I just don't know what I did wrong! She's always been so responsible, always focused. Then, she just gave up her dream. I never had a dream. I just worked crappy jobs to keep us afloat. I was hoping she'd be different. I didn't even get to talk to her after the accident. Payson said she just took off running. I called Julie's mom, Alyssa and she said Emily stopped by and Julie went with her. Of course, Julie calls her mom once a week. Alyssa doesn't actually doesn't know where her daughter is either, but only because Emily insisted on it. I knew I should've stayed in one place during her childhood. I only taught her how to run away from problems. God, I just want to talk to her!" Chloe mumbled as she cried on my shoulder, her eyeliner dripping down her face. I immediately felt bad for her. Emily was the Kmetko's great white hope, the one who would accomplish something, or at least that's how Emily saw it. I knew that her mom wouldn't care if she were winning gold medals or delivering pizzas as long as she was happy.

I handed her a tissue out of the box sitting next to me. "Listen, I'm going to LA for a couple of gigs, and when they're done I'm going to look for Emily. Everywhere I think she would've gone. Everywhere she mentioned to that." I told Chloe with a comforting look.

She burst out smiling and nearly squeezed me to death in a bear hug. Lauren walked down the stairs, her warm-ups replaced by a glittery top and shorts. "Um, Chloe, don't kill him," she said laughing at the sight laying before her. Chloe blushed and let go of me. I took a deep breath.

"So, you're going to find Emily. First thing's first. Payson and I have to come with you." She cut me off as I began to protest. "Look here. We are Emily's friends, her teammates. Having us there will help your odds." Lauren looked to Chloe for support. She nodded in agreement. Since when did these two get along that well? Last Emily told me, they were fighting like cats and dogs. Kaylie's death really must have matured Lauren.

"Fine." I grumbled, pretending to be upset that two girls were accompanying me. I knew having them would help me lure Emily back home.

"Okay, so when do you leave for LA?" she asked me, probably trying to figure out how to convince her coach to let Payson and her take a month of training.

"LA? Why would we start in LA?" I asked curiously. Emily had told me how she had hated the constant sunshine and superficial people.

"Wow, clearly Emily only loved you for your looks. The pool party in LA? The one where Kaylie and I made up? That's the only place she could go that reminded her of us in a good way." Lauren answered as if that was the simplest logic ever. This girl was a lot smarter than anyone ever gave her credit for. That had never even occurred to me.

"We leave in a week. Meet me at the airport on Friday. Call Payson and work out whatever needs to be negotiated." I answered in my business manager voice.

"I'll take care of everything," she reassured me. I took her word, gave Chloe a goodbye, and got back in my cab. The cab driver ripped me off like no cab driver had ever done before, but it was worth it.

The week went by before my eyes. The band was taking the bus while the girls and I traveled by plane. I'd talked to Lauren a few times; Sasha was making an exception since they were trying to reunite their team. Apparently the Rock had been hit hard by Kaylie's death and Emily's disappearance and he thought it would boost morale. I hadn't talked to Payson, but I kind of excepted that. It was probably easier for Lauren to go on the trip than Payson. Payson was there and saw it all. Yet, she still was going after a lot of arm-twisting.

I waited for them near our terminal. Lauren checked a total of four bags and carried two. Payson checked one bag and carried another. My "manager" had Fed-Exed my stuff a few days before. "This is awesome! We're going back to LA!" she squealed delightedly. Payson and I both glared at her. "I mean. yah, we're going to find Emily!' she tried again. We stuck with that one. The plane ride was short, but long enough for Lauren to annoy the crap out of me by talking about Carter.

Payson finally lost it. "Lo, can you shut up? Do you not have anything else more important to worry about? How about our friend who took off without no more than an ill-written note and is afraid to even call her mom?" she shouted at Lauren, clearly letting out built up frustration. I noticed she said friend instead of teammate. Emily had once told me that she didn't know what the other girls considered her. She told me she considered them friends. Lauren remained quiet for the last hour of the flight.

It felt great to step out into the sunny LA atmosphere. Payson seemed to relax once we got to the hotel. "Pay, is this…" Lauren trailed off her question.

"Same hotel the pool party was at? Yeah, it is." she responded quietly. I mentally cursed that "manager" of mine for booking us rooms here, out of all the hotels in LA.

"Don't worry. We won't be here very long tonight. My gig's in five hours. It'll be fun. Clubs here are much better than keggers in Boulder." I reassured them. That made both girls smile. A bellhop grabbed our bags and motioned for us to follow him. We were on the top floor, a huge three bedroom room with an amazing view of the city. I gave the guy his tip and he nodded.

Lauren immediately grabbed her stuff and said, "Come on, Payson. Let's get ready!"

She rolled her eyes at Lauren. "We have four and a half hours. Even you can't take that long to get ready." Payson responded sarcastically.

Lauren batted her eyelashes. "Please! Don't you want to met a hot guy to make Nicky jealous? He deserves it for hooking up with Kelly Parker!" she pleaded jumping up and down.

"Fine, but no leggings this time. That was a total disaster the last time." Payson answered grudgingly. Lauren jumped up and down some more, squealing with delight.

I needed space away from Lauren, so I made up something about getting fresh air. They were too into their makeover to care where I was going. I wandered around for a while before finding a tiny diner called Diner. Original. In desperate need of caffeine, I stepped inside. It was pretty empty except for an old couple sitting in a back booth. I looked around saw three employees, two guys and a girl. The girl looked around my age while the guys might've been a year or two older. She was very innocence and sweet looking with black hair and pale skin, but had the essence of strength around her. I think it was in her amber eyes. One of the guys was tan with short brown hair and green eyes. He and the girl looked like siblings. The other dude had dirty blonde hair that was spiked up and brown eyes.

I sat down in one of the booths, quietly observing the place. The guys and girl were talking about their plans for the night.

"So, Rick, what time are you bringing the Partymobile around to our house?" the girl asked the blonde guy. So the two black haired people were siblings.

"Around eight probably. I'm not sure. I'll probably pick you guys up first, then Emily." Rick answered casually. My ears perked up. Emily? All kinds of thoughts were going through my head before I stopped myself. Damon, there are thousands of Emily's in the country. It's probably not her. For some reason I couldn't shake off the idea that these people knew her. This seemed like the type of place Emily would've instantly gravitated to. It reminded me of the Pizza Shack in the weirdest way.

"What about Julie and Sam?" the black haired guy asked with a skeptical look.

"I'll know which one I'm picking up in about two minutes," Rick answered, his hand pulling out a sliver cell phone.

"What was the bet this time?" the girl inquired with an amused expression on her face.

Rick was just about to answer her when his phone rang. "And that would be our answer," he said while answering his phone. "Hey. Yeah, Tony and Rina are working with me. No, Emily took the day off. Dude, I don't know where she went. Okay. So, who won? You lost? Ha-ha, you have to work tonight! Hey, I don't include myself in your bets. Language! Oh, I see a customer! Bye!' The conversation was interesting.\

"Sam lost again," Tony guessed.

"Yep, and you owe me twenty bucks," Rina stated, smiling smugly.

"Darn Sam! I need to start betting on Julie!" Tony shouted.

Rick rolled his eyes and walked over towards the table I was sitting at. "Hey, dude, can I get you something?" he asked, clearly ready to call it a day.

"No thanks." I answered as I walked out the door. I had a pretty good idea of where to find Emily now. After my gig, I was going to find her.


	5. The Club Reunion

Present day- Club Skunk

I was practically hyperventilating the whole ride to the club. Julie kept trying to calm me down, but nothing she said eased my fears. Damn it, I came here to leave all this crap behind, not to keep finding it. Next time I run away, I'm leaving the country. God, I sound like my mother. I'm planning where to run to next. The thing is, I don't want to run away anymore. I like my life here. I love my apartment and the friends I've made. I even like my waitressing job. Even with all these things, something still doesn't feel right. I miss my mom, eccentric and colorful, and Brian, my biggest fan. I miss the Rock, Sasha and his high standards. I miss Payson, always focused, and Lauren, the most determined of us all. I miss gymnastics, the meets and the uneven bars, going from bar to bar. I especially miss Kaylie and the way she kept us together.

"We're here!' Rina announced excitedly. She started bouncing up and down. Rick just rolled his eyes at her. I rubbed my temples, trying to figure out how I was going to avoid Damon and Razor. Then again, they'd probably be too busy to be looking for me. I tried to hold on to this fantasy, but I knew it wasn't true.

Rick scoured the road for a parking spot. Tony pointed to an empty space in front of an abandoned apartment building. It was a no parking zone, but we had discovered that if people thought it was an actual ambulance, they wouldn't tow it. Tony had rigged the siren to go off every time you locked it. Julie, Rina, and I stepped out, linking arms and talking about this club. We'd hit nearly every other new club in LA. It was our favorite pastime besides surfing. I never thought I'd be the type of girl to got to clubs, but it was actually a lot more fun than I thought. The clubs were always upbeat, full of great music, and guys for those who were looking. Rina usually went off with some guy and came to work in his shirt in the morning. I doubt she would tonight, though. Tonight was about the band.

We approached the entrance. There was a huge line, but all Rina and Julie usually had to due was bat their eyes and flirt with the bouncer. Tonight, however, it wasn't working. "Get in the back!' the bouncer said gruffly.

An idea popped into my head. "How about a trick?" I asked smiling. The guy shrugged, as if to say if it was good enough you'd get in. Rina looked at me in confusion, while Julie just grinned. I motioned for everyone to back-up. I did three cartwheels followed by a standing full twist. Everyone erupted with applause.

The bouncer nodded, grinning. He undid the rope and let us in. Rina, Tony, and Rick were looking at me in awe. "Em, how did you do that? It was like you were flying or something." Rick asked me, his eyes full of wonder.

I shrugged, trying to be indifferent. "I took a couple years of gymnastics. That was just something that stuck." I lied. I had never actually taken a formal class, but had taught myself any move I saw. My mom was estatic to see my newfound talent and always told me "Don't reach for those stars. Fly up and grab 'em!" I didn't really appreciate this phrase until I started training at the Rock, where everyone always wanted more power and higher rankings.

Julie lifted an eyebrow as the gang went in front of it. She didn't like having to lie for me, but she did it anyways. I didn't like the lies either, but it was better than answering a million questions about my life, gymnastics career, and why I left home. We had told them we were from Las Vegas. Technically, this wasn't a lie. Both of us had lived in Las Vegas at a point. Julie had just lived there longer. I told them I had a mother, step-father, brother, and step-sister I wasn't on speaking terms with. What I didn't tell them was that it was my fault I wasn't speaking to them. Julie still called her mom once a week, but didn't tell her where we were. Alyssa was close to my mother; they had both been cocktail waitresses on the same shift for a year, after all. I knew if Alyssa knew where I was, she'd call my mother and tell her.

I tried to block all this out as we walked into the club. The opener hadn't gone one yet, but the place was loud and packed. I dragged Rina over to the bar, where I got a lemon drop for Julie and a rum and coke for myself. Rina got a vodka soda for Paul and a Long Island Ice Tea for herself. We found a table that would fit all of us. Rick yelled over the speaker, "Where's my drink?"

I answered, "Designated drivers don't get a drink!" He glared at me, and then saw a curvy girl with curly blonde hair and fierce brown eyes. Those eyes looked oddly familiar. I looked up and saw Lauren in a tight blue tank-top with a leather skirt and sliver hoops. Her hair was longer, and she looked like she was limping. Must have sprained it in a meet. Then I remembered the reason she came in fourth in Worlds. She had done a new trick and landed on her ankle. She would've come in first on the beam if it hadn't been for that. Some Russian gymnast beat her by half a point. I looked down. Things really couldn't get any worse.

"Rick, look away. That girl has "I'm just flaunting what you can't have into your face" written all over her. Trust me, not good." Julie told him, while trying to read my expression. She had recognized Lauren from the pictures I'd shown her.

"Guys, shut up! The band's about to start!" Rina squealed enthusiastically. I was starting to get a bit annoyed with her. She wasn't usually this peppy. We all looked up to the stage. There were now three guys on stage. Razor and his two other band mates. I don't ever remember learning their names.

"Hey LA! How are you doing tonight? We are the Shelter Pups, opening for our good friend, Damon Young. Let's hear a round of applause!" Razor shouted. The whole club screamed in reply. Rina nearly shattered my eardrums.

The Shelter Pups were as good as I remembered. They played a couple of new songs and a few I recognized that Damon's had written. Rina was clearly enjoying herself. She danced with five different guys, getting numbers from three. Julie had success as well, dancing with four guys and getting two numbers. I knew she wouldn't use them. She had a thing for Sam and it seemed to mutual. If they just stopped making those stupid bets, they'd probably be dating by now.

The last song ended, leaving everyone waiting for more. The Shelter Pups waved to their fans and walked off stage through the crowd. I had been dancing with Julie and Rina, so I rushed back to our table to hide. In my stupidity, I collided into someone. I looked up. It was Razor.

His face was in total shock. "Emily?" he asked, clearly struck by how different I looked. My disguise had worked; no one who had known me in Boulder would recognize me unless they were face-to-face with me. He looked more closely at my face, remembering certain features. "Emily Kmetko, the invisible girl. Where have you been? Why are you here?" Razor asked. His real questions were: Why did you leave Boulder without telling anyone where you were going? Why did you never contact anyone?

"Long story," I answered. I didn't want to get into the details. The guys and Rina were eyeing me strangely, as if to ask who is this guy talking to me. I motion towards my table. "Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends," I said evasively.

I lead him to my table. "Guys, this is Razor. We knew each other back home." I told them. "Razor, that's Julie, Rina, Tony, and Rick. There's usually another one of us, but Sam had to work tonight." I said, pointing to each of them as I said their name.

"Where do you guys work?" he asked, clearly thinking it was a Pizza Shack

Julie piped in. "We work at a diner on the boardwalk." Razor looked disappointed.

"What's the diner called?" Razor asked, suddenly cheery again.

"Diner," Julie answered casually.

"Ha-ha, very funny. Seriously, what's it called?" he asked again, not believing her. I still can't believe it myself and I've been working there a while.

"Dude, its name is Diner," Rick replied, obviously starting to get irritated. A drink probably would've helped that, but none of us felt like getting an accident tonight. That made me think of Kaylie. I took a huge sip of my drink. It was nearly empty.

"You're kidding, right?" Razor asked again just to make sure. He looked at all our faces, seeing that they were dead serious. He laughed. "Why?"

"Lack of original thought," Tony replied, rolling his eyes at the "genius" that was our boss.

Rina looked like she was going to have a heart attack. Razor motioned towards her as if to ask what the problem was. "She's a huge fan of yours," I whispered to him.

Razor took this in. getting cockier by the second. He went over and sat down next to Trina. "Hey, would you like to dance by any chance?" he asked her with a dazzling smile.

Rina contemplated this for a moment, but gained her composure and smiled. "I'd love to," she answered with a flip of her hair.

"Great," he responded. "Damon should be on right about.." He trailed off. "Now." I saw Damon take the stage. I had missed him so much. His hair was a bit longer, but he was still the same Damon I loved. Razor saw me staring at his best friend. He shook his head and said, "Don't bother hiding. He always finds you again." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I hoped it wasn't bad. I stole another glance at Damon. This time, his eyes connected with mine. He stared at me for a moment. At that moment, he stopped singing.


	6. The Rock Girl's Reunion

Damon's POV

I was performing at Club Skunk when I caught a girl staring at me. This was a normal occurrence, but the girl seemed different. I glanced at her and our eyes met. I knew those eyes. It was Emily. If I hadn't seen her eyes. I wouldn't have recognized her. Her hair was longer, her bangs out, and a blue streak was framing her face. Her face looked angler, and it looked like she had lost weight. Her hand had a huge bandage wrapped over it. I stopped singing. Everyone looked at me. "Sorry everyone, but we are going to talk a short break." I said spontaneously. Nothing was going to keep me from talking to Emily. I had a million questions for her and she was going to answer them. I stepped off stage and headed towards her table. She was sitting with those diner people. I had been right about them. I recognized her friend Julie from the picture she had shown me. Emily saw me and left the table. The dark-haired one, Rina, asked where she was going. Emily just waved her off.

I ran after her. I hid behind some tall dude and grabbed her wrist. "Emily, stop!" I shouted at her. She turned to face me.

"What are you doing here Damon?" she asked me, her voice blunt. "I should be asking you the same question. What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Boulder? Why haven't you contacted anyone? Everyone's worried." I questioned her while watching her face. It went from angry to sad and back to angry again.

"What's it to you?" she fired back at me, her voice venomous. I shook my head.

"I went back to Boulder to see you only to find out from Razor that you had practically disappeared into thin air. Then I visited the Rock and talked to Lauren and Carter to find out more. I even went to see your mother. Everyone's really worried about you." I told her angrily. Bad move.

"Well, you can run back there and tell them that I'm fine. I'm doing great on my own!" she responded. I knew she didn't believe it, but she wanted me to.

"Really? Hiding from your family and friends and giving up your dream is doing great? Wow, then I must be doing terrible." I shot back sarcastically. She slapped me.

"I did what I had to do and I don't feel like being mocked for it. You just don't get it." she responded, clearly trying to hold back tears. I softened a bit.

"You're right, I probably don't get it, but I do know some people who might." Emily looked at me curiously. I took her hand, and led her to where Payson and Lauren were sitting. Well, Payson was sitting and Lauren was flirting with some guy. Carter would not be happy right then.

"Guys," I said to them. "Look what I found." I gave Emily a little push in front of me. The girls stared at her in shock. Lauren looked Emily up and down when her eyes stopped at something.

That's my limited edition Coach bag!" she exclaimed, pointing to the bag. I rolled my eyes while Emily blushed. Payson glared at Lauren.

"Seriously, Lo, that's what you choose to say right now?" Payson lectured. Emily smiled at the familiar sight of her friends bickering. Everyone was at a loss for words.

"So," Payson said awkwardly. "How'd you end up in LA of all places? I thought you said it was too sunny for you."

Emily chose her words carefully. "I went to see my old friend, Julie, and we took this huge cross-country road trip for four months. Our last stop just happened to be here and we took a liking to it. We have a small apartment above a surfboard shop."

"So do you work in that shop?" Payson asked curiously. She wanted every detail that Emily was willing to give her, probably to report to their coach.

"No, Julie and I work in a small diner on the same boardwalk. It's got the same kind of vibe as the Pizza Shack. Our co-workers have become our closest friends here. One of them, Rina, actually reminds me of Lauren, but in a good way." Emily responded casually. I could tell she actually liked her new friends and job. I smiled at the mention of the Pizza Shack. Clearly, I had been right about why she had gotten a job there.

"Hey! How can someone remind you of me in a bad way?" Lauren asked pouting.

"When that person is being bitchy and manipulative," Payson answered bluntly. Both Emily and I cracked up laughing. Lauren glared at Payson, who only shrugged.

"What's with your hand?" Lauren asked while staring at the bandage. Payson shot her a look which she chose to ignore. I looked at her curiously.

"I dropped a plate today and hurt my hand," Emily replied nervously. Payson was staring at her like she knew something that we didn't. "So, how'd you guys convince Sasha to let you come here?"

"We said we were going to look for you. He said just make sure you bring her back." Lauren responded simply. Emily just stared at her.

"Then you're wasting your time. I'm never going back. There's nothing there for me." she responded coldly. This set Payson off.

"Nothing there for you! Your family is there! Your team is there! Both need you!" Payson screamed at her furiously. Lauren looked shocked. It seemed like Payson hadn't spoken her mind in a while.

"All I do is mess things up. Why would anyone want me there?" Emily asked her, desperation dripping from her voice.

"Because our team is broken and we need you to fix it!" Lauren added in tears. "The Rock isn't the same without you. We're a team who's missing a member."

"Why would you want the person who broke the team to fix it? It's my fault we'll be missing a member forever. You deserve better on your team." Emily responded, small sobs escaping her mouth. I immediately felt bad. She blamed herself for an accident that couldn't have been prevented. Payson looked her straight in the eye.

"Emily, I told you this in the car after it happened, and I'll tell it to you as many times as I need to. That accident wasn't your fault. The driver was drunk out of his mind. You need to stop blaming yourself." Payson told her, her voice breaking. "I should've followed you when you ran away. I thought you were just going to clear your head. I didn't know you'd run away."

"Neither did I," she answered honestly. We were all a little confused. I looked at her for further explanation. "When I ran off, I didn't know where I was going to go. I felt like I had disappointed everyone. I called Julie, and told her I was heading her way and not to tell my mom that I had called. Then, I headed home and packed all my stuff. I wrote a note and left for the airport."

"Yeah, that note had no useful information on it. When your mom gave it to Sasha, I thought he was going to break a window or something." Lauren replied seriously.

Suddenly, a girl tapped on Emily's shoulder. It was Rina. "Hey, Em, Rick wants to leave because we wouldn't let him have a drink and there are no "hot babes" to hit on." she said with a roll of her eyes. Emily shook her head like this was a normal thing. "Julie's going to meet up with Sam for their usual post-bet ritual."

"God, why do they always hook up after those bets? What is the secret behind that?" Emily responded with a laugh.

"That's like asking how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. The world will never know." Rina responded jokingly. "So, who are your friends? "That's Damon, Lauren, and Payson. They're friends from Boulder." Emily told her vaguely.

"Boulder. Cool town. Snow. Shelter Pups." Rina responded casually. I smiled.

"You're fan of theirs?" I asked, knowing the obvious.

"Yeah. They're the reason I dragged everyone out here tonight." I faked hurt. "But you were good, too." she added quickly.

"So, do you guys want to come see my apartment? It's not much, but we make it work." Emily asked. We all shook our heads.

"Come on then. Rick's waiting outside and he's crabby tonight." Rina said. Emily rolled her eyes. I wondered what their car would look like. We left the club and headed outside. I looked around for their car. "It's this way," she said pointing to the other street. I only saw an ambulance.

"Where's the car?" Payson asked frustrated.

Emily pointed to the ambulance. "Right there," she said while smiling.

I laughed. "Seriously?" Lauren was cracking up laughing while Payson just looked skeptical.

"Welcome to the Partymobile!" Rina shouted excitedly. She and Emily started doing a dance. They said it was Julie's signature happy dance. Rick apparently required them to do it each time they introduced the Partymobile.

"What kind of stupid name is that?" Payson asked with a smirk.

Emily gave her a look. "If you like living, I wouldn't say that in front of Rick." she answered, her face dead serious.

We hopped into the car to be greeted by loud pop music. All the girl knew the song so they started to sing along. I introduced myself to the guys and we started talking. Rick even let us ring the siren, something he apparently doesn't do often. I smiled to myself. Step one was complete. I had found Emily. Now I just needed to convince her to come home.


	7. The Sleepover

Emily's POV

It had been a crazy, wild night. I'd not only run into Razor and Damon, but Lauren and Payson also. And now, we were on the way to my apartment in the Partymobile. Unless flying space monkeys staring attacking us, I don't think the night could've gotten weirder. I knew it would be even more awkward when Julie met them.

We finally stopped at the shop. "Well, ladies, I think I'm just going to let you bond. I'll pick you up in the morning." Damon told Lauren and Payson coyly. Neither looked to please with this. It surprised me as well. I just waved goodbye to Rick, Tony, and Rina.

I searched my bag for the keys. "So, can I have that bag back?" Lauren asked hopefully. Payson just gave her a look.

"Lo, just let it go." she said forcefully.

"Hey, if it helps, I took it to remember you by," I offered as comfort. Lauren looked surprised by this. "I took something from everyone's room. I also have one of my mom's scrapbooks and Brian's pinky rings." I added.

I opened the door and led them in. "This is the shop. We live upstairs." I showed them around.

"Do you know how to surf?" Payson asked curiously. I nodded my head.

"Tony taught Julie and me a week after we moved here. Said it was necessary if we were going to be true California girls." I replied with a roll of my eyes.

"And sun-kissed so hot it'll melt your popsicle?" Lauren joked. Payson groaned.

"I'm so sick of that song! It's got to be one of the most annoying songs on the radio!" Payson ranted. I nodded my head in agreement.

"You too are nuts," Lauren replied as we walked up the tiny staircase that led to my apartment. I unlocked the door and kicked it three times to get it to open. I stepped aside so they could have a look around.

It was small and decorated with pictures of Julie and me on our road trip. Payson examined these intently, like she was trying to decipher them. Lauren seemed shocked by how small it was, but I ignored that.

"So, how long have you lived here?" Payson asked, her eyes staring at one picture in particular. It was one of Julie, Rina, Rick, Tony, Sam, and me sitting on the pier with the sun going down. It had been our first week in LA, and I had been miserable.

"Six months. That picture was taken our first week here." I answered calmly. "Why here?" Payson asked, clearly trying to get inside my head.

"I don't know. We just stopped here one day and it just felt right." I answered truthfully. I always get the same feeling when I know I'm home. I've only ever had it in three places: Boulder, Las Vegas, and here. I changed the subject. "So, I have some sweatpants and stuff in my room if you guys want to change," I offered. The two raced into the room I pointed out.

Payson came out in my favorite pair of sweatpants and one of my baggy t-shirts, while Lauren wore a white tank top and striped pajama pants. I changed into a green tank top with jackpot pajama pants.

"Nice pants," Lauren mocked. Payson just rolled her eyes.

"Thanks. I got them in Vegas. I'll be sure to grab you some next time." I answered sarcastically. Lauren changed the subject to gossip about Kelly Parker.

We spent the whole night gossiping and laughing, Lauren being a little devious and Payson acting like our mother. I felt complete like I hadn't in months. I knew something would always be missing. That was just something I'd have to deal with.

"So, did you hear about Austin Tucker?" Lauren asked me, her eyes possessing a devilish glint.

"What about him?" I inquired curiously. Austin had been seeing Kaylie before the accident. I didn't talk to him afterwards.

"He's retired. Giving up the sport entirely. I heard he's engaged to some model." Lauren replied. That made me mad.

"Jerk," I responded. He had no right to date another girl so quickly. Kaylie had only been gone a year. None of us had moved on yet, so why should he get to?

"I think it's a good thing," Payson added. "He's moving on, as should we all." This made something inside me tick. I knew that, logically, she had a point. We should be moving on with our lives, but I couldn't. I was haunted by what happened every day, and that wasn't something I could just get over.

"And how do we do that? Just forget everything that's happened? You may be able to do that, but I can't!" I shouted at Payson. Both girls stared at me in shock. So I continued. "I can't even do gymnastics because of.."

"Because of what?" Payson asked softly. I started to sob. Lauren patted my back, trying to comfort me.

"Because I can't go on the uneven bars or do floor moves without thinking that I ruined someone else's chance. And that eats me alive. But so does not doing gymnastics." I confessed in between sobs.

"Em, you have to stop placing all this blame on yourself. No one hates you. They're all worried about you. We need you back at the Rock. Will you come back for just a month? Stay a month and see if it's too hard for you. If you're miserable, you can come back here and know you faced your fears. And you don't have to live at home. You can stay in the apartment Lauren's dad keeps for company." Payson said reassuringly.

I thought about this. I wanted to train again, but I wasn't sure about competing. I didn't know if I could handle that. I knew I'd need support. I needed my new friends to come with me. If they agreed to it, then I'd go.

"Fine, I'll go if my friends agree to come with us," I answered reluctantly. Lauren started to do her version of Julie's happy dance. Payson just gave me a smile.

"Sasha will be happy to here this," she said, pulling out a cell phone. I did a double take.

"Wait, you're going to call him at four in the morning just to tell him I'm coming back to the Rock?" I asked her skeptically.

"Hey, he said to call him as soon as we knocked some sense into you," Payson responded calmly. I laughed.

And while all this chaos was going on, Julie came into the apartment. Payson and Lauren stopped what they were doing and started at her. "Hey, Lauren, Payson. I'm Julie." she said happily. I had sent her many pictures of all of us, so she recognized them instantly. "Where's Damon? Rina called and said you guys hitched a ride in the Partymobile." Julie asked while doing the happy dance.

"He abandoned us here so we could bond or something," Lauren answered with a roll of her eyes.

"Funny, you don't strike me as the bonding type," Julie answered sarcastically.

Lauren was about to fire back with a nasty comment when Payson skillfully changed the topic. "So, how long have the two of you been friends?" she asked while giving Lauren a Please-don't-be-a-bitch look.

"Since we were ten. Our moms were both cocktail waitresses in the same casino. Neither of our dads were around, so they'd stick us in the back room during their shifts." Julie answered casually. I inwardly shudder. There are some days where I just wish my family had a normal background.

"You lived in Vegas?" Lauren asked skeptically. It doesn't sound like a place that would have children, but there were actually thirty-nine children of staffers at that small little casino. I distinctly remember our moms teaching us how to play blackjack during their breaks. Julie and I use to fantasias about the day we'd go to a huge casino and win enough money to buy a big house for both of our families to share and whatever else we wanted.

"Yeah, that stereotype about there not being a lot children in Vegas is crap," she answered bluntly. I just shook my head. I was used to her rants. Lauren just stared at her.

We spent the rest of our night talking, filling Julie in on their plan. She did her patented happy dance. She had been trying to convince me to call my mom or just visit Boulder since day one. Julie has some kind of sixth sense where she could tell when I was unhappy or wistful. She was the only one who knew that, on my days off, I went to the playground and just worked on routines. I'd tried to stay away from gymnastics. But, as much as it hurt to do the thing I love, it hurt more when I wasn't doing it. I couldn't admit it to myself, but I knew Kaylie would want me to be chasing after my dreams.


	8. The Deal

Damon's POV

I woke up early and headed over to the diner Payson had told me to meet them at. All she had told me was that Emily agreed to come back for a month, and with some conditions. If it hadn't been for my cynicism, I would've jumped up and down and screamed like a girl. I was afraid to hear the conditions, though. Payson had said they were reasonable. I didn't know how she could think anything was reasonable anymore, but I went along with it.

I walked in and saw Julie sitting in booth, making out with a black-haired guy I'd assumed was Sam. She sprang up as soon as she saw me and smiled. "You must be the famous Damon. I've heard so much about you, almost to the point that it's sickening." Julie said with a smirk. I was about to answer when she continued. "But, if you break Emily's heart, Rina and I will personally hunt you and cut off your male part. Got that?" Sam gave me a look as if to say don't underestimate her.

I winced. "Got it. And you must be Julie." I responded casually. Emily had shown me pictures of her friend once before, the one day she let me ask questions about the places she had lived.

"Yes, and that idiot is Sam," Julie said, pointing to the guy besides her. He just nodded a hello towards me and whispered something into Julie's ear. She held a finger up to him and turned back to me.

"Emily's on her break, but Lauren and Payson are in the back with Rina. She should be back soon." Julie told me after standing up and taking off her apron. I nodded and she grabbed Sam's hand forcibly. The guy just rolled his eyes and followed her out the door. Rina ran up next to me, her expression dark.

"Great. Now we're understaffed. Again." she ranted, her amber eyes dark. She looked at me, an idea forming in your head. "You and Emily worked at some pizza place, right?" Rina asked demandingly. I just nodded. "Then grab an apron and get to work," she practically barked at me. I could tell she was hung-over by her crappy mood.

I went in the back where Tony handed me an apron. "Sorry about my sister. She's always a bit of a bitch when she's hung-over. She'll snap out of it around noon." he replied with a sigh.

"Why noon? Is that when it wears off?" I questioned curiously.

"No, that's how long Emily and Julie will be able to put up with her before slapping her," Tony answered, his voice completely serious. I just stared at him in disbelieve. He shrugged. "They're easily irritated when they're hung-over," Tony added.

"Good to know," I replied casually. I looked over to see Payson and Lauren talking to someone over voicemail.

"I don't think she'll stay permanently," Lauren said into the phone, her voice worried.

"Why not?" the gruff voice demanded. It tooked me a minute to realize that they were talking to their coach, Sasha. The dude scared me a bit, but I knew he was trying to look out for Emily. Unfortunately, Emily didn't like being looked after.

"She seems to like it here," Payson replied, her voice surprised. I was a little surprised myself when we found Emily here. It didn't seem to be her place, but I could tell she really loved the life she had created in Los Angles. I felt bad pulling her away from all of it. I reminded myself that I was helping her by doing this.

"Are those friends coming with her?" Sasha asked hopefully. Now everything made sense. Emily had only agreed to come if everyone else would. I smiled at her loyalty to people she had only known six months.

"We still need to talk to them, but Julie already agreed and the other girl seems like she'd go for it," Lauren reported optimistically.

"Good. We need to do everything we can to get Emily to stay at the Rock for good. It is her home, after all." he said seriously. The two girls both said yes and goodbye. I knocked on the wall. They both turned and saw me.

Payson's eyes looked nervous, like they'd been caught doing a crime. She looked down at her feet, ashamed. Lauren, however, faced me head on. Her eyes were determined and focused. "What are you looking at?" she demanded venomously.

I smirked. "Nothing." Lauren didn't look convinced, but Payson gave her a look to remind her who had brought them here in the first place. Lauren recoiled.

"We were just talking to Sasha," she explained calmly, earning a nod from Payson.

"I heard," was my very witty reply. Before I could ask any more questions, we saw Emily walk in. She went over to punch herself in and grabbed her apron. She said hi to Rina and laughed at something her friend said. She came into the back and saw us sitting on the floor.

"Um, you know you're allowed to sit in a booth, right?" Emily asked with a laugh.

"Tony's mean," I replied with a smirk. Emily just helped me up off of the floor. She pointed out a table where Lauren and Payson could sit and talk. When I went to join them, she stopped me.

"Sorry, but I need you on table five," Emily told me with a smirk. I raised my eyebrows at her. "Hey, just because you're some great rock star now doesn't mean you get special treatment," she added seriously. I smile in spite of myself. The girl did know how to keep me grounded. Being around her reminded me that I was once just some guy working at a pizza shack.

I grumbled fine. As I grabbed a pen, I stupidly asked, "Do I get paid?"

Emily gave me a look. "Since you're some great rock star now, you don't need the money from a lowly waiter job," she replied sarcastically.

"Slave laborer!" I playfully shouted at her.

"Deal with it!" she responded with a roll of her eyes. The customers just gave me a weird look, but I ignored it. It took a while for me to shift back into my Pizza Shack mode. It felt strange to be staying at a five star hotel and taking orders at a small diner. I had unlocked Emily's secret; the way of staying grounded that no one knew. She had been working her whole life and been told she wasn't good enough. Her humbleness was a result of her insecurities.

After an hour, Julie and Sam came back. I sighed in relief. Emily stared at me for a second, then asked, "Did you really change that much?" This question caught me off guard. I personally hadn't though I changed much. Sure, I now had a taste for some finer things and had the money to enjoy them, but I still considered myself hardworking.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously. Emily looked at me like I was a stranger. I probably didn't seem like the guy she met at the kegger.

She shook her head. "Never mind," she mumbled. Julie came over towards us. Her top was unbuttoned and her hair slightly tousled. Emily rolled her eyes at Julie. Julie smacked her arm.

"Hey, no judging. That's why our friendship is great," she reminded Emily sternly.

Emily simply smiled. "Did you have fun?" she asked kindly.

Julie just looked down at her shoes, her cheeks red. "I guess," she mumbled.

Rina walked towards us and saw Julie looking down at her shoes. She turned to Emily and casually asked, "Did you give her the shake of shame yet?"

Emily just laughed. "That's your job, not mine." I was starting to get confused. These girls had a lot of inside jokes and it was hard for me to keep up.

Rina turned to me and explained. "Whenever Julie gets back from a date with Sam, I give her my shake of shame." She showed me the shake of shame; I laughed at it. I couldn't believe how carefree Emily was out here. I couldn't remember seeing her laugh so much in Boulder.

By now everyone was here. We pushed a bunch of tables together and sat down. Emily explained the situation to them. They didn't know much of her background and were shocked to find out she had been a gymnast. Surprisingly, all of them agreed to come with us. Rina was practically excited about it. She seemed to love the idea of living in Boulder, and though she didn't say it, I knew she was looking forward to seeing Razor. The guys seemed willing enough, even the Rick dude. But, he insisted on driving there instead of flying. We agreed and made plans to start our trip the next week. I wanted a little more time in LA, as did everyone else. I could see why Emily didn't want to leave. Step two of my plan was complete, now I just had to convince her she belonged in Boulder.


	9. The Leaving LA

Emily's POV

I don't know how I got myself talked into going back to Boulder. Maybe it was because I was still drunk when Payson or Lauren asked, or maybe I feel like there's still a part of me there. All I really know is that as it gets closer and closer to when I'm supposed to leave LA, I just want to stay longer. Los Angles has some kind of hex on my, as strange as it may be. At first, I found it odd that I loved living there, but I do. I love the waves crashing into the shore at night, going to loud clubs with crazy people, and even working at the diner now felt like a part of me. I wasn't ready to let it go.

I stared at our bare apartment. All of the photos and homey touches had been packed. The only thing left was our furniture. We were going to leave it in the apartment in case I decided to go back to LA. If I didn't, we'd just come to get it later. The owner of the diner said our jobs would be waiting for us when we got back. I sat on the couch and cried. I had to face the past and leave behind a present that I loved. It just didn't feel right.

I went through a couple of boxes before finding a scrapbook. It was the one I'd taken from my mom's room, and it was my most valuable possession. I looked at the face of a ten year-old me, smiling brightly while holding a stuffed bear. I envied that little girl; she knew exactly what she wanted from life. I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

I missed gymnastics more than anything in the world, but I didn't miss the world that came with it. I didn't miss the National Committee breathing my neck, or all the politics that I had never mastered. I missed Sasha, but not the restrictive lifestyle that came with being one of his gymnasts. I think I enjoyed having a normal life. I wasn't as tense or shy all the time. I didn't always have my guard up, waiting for the bottom to fall. Having real friends had taught me that the bottom didn't always have to fall.

I remember when I knew I wanted to be a gymnast. I was in one of our shitty apartment complexes watching tv when a gymnastics meet came on. I was enthralled by these girls who seemed to have the ability to defy gravity. I though, If I can learn to do that, I'll be able to do anything. Even at a young age, I knew I didn't want to be like my mother, who always seemed to need some loser to make her feel better. I wanted to do something where it was just me and what I was doing. That's what gymnastics gave to me before I started training at the Rock. It was something that was all mine, that nobody could take from me. I became quite the focused child, training and using whatever resources I had.

When I arrived at the Rock, gymnastics changed for me. My gymnastics became everyone's business, whether it was making suggestions or giving criticism. I wasn't use to this, and it hit me hard. It made me feel insecure and ashamed of my previous self-training. All the other girls had been in a gym since they were three while I started training myself at the age of seven. It had been hard for me to catch up, but I had been determined to show those girls who I really was. Out of all of them, only Payson truly impressed me. She was the only one whose passion and dedication matched my own, if not exceeded it. I liked that fact that she didn't act like a big star. Payson was just another gymnast.

I'd been disgusted with Lauren from the very beginning. She was talented, no doubt, but her drive came from the wrong place. She wanted to win too badly, and that wasn't what the sport was about. She was always scheming on how to bring others down. Lauren wasted time that could've been spent on her gymnastics manipulating other people. She was the kind of person that thought if someone else got what she wanted first, there wouldn't be any left for her. I remember knowing people like that when I was little. Most of them had been abandoned by a parent just like Lauren, so that explained it a bit.

I hadn't though too much of Kaylie at first either. Truthfully, she just seemed like a spoiled brat to me. She had the glitz and the glamour but none of the grit needed to go with it. Kaylie was the type of gymnast you looked at and thought, Oh, she's cute. I didn't have much patience for people like that. The fact that she always seemed to be complaining about Carter or her life in general didn't endear me to here. I wanted to scream all my actually valid problems in her face just so she'd shut up, but I never did.

It took a while, but Kaylie slowly started to earn my respect. First, she had tried to make up for snubbing me when I first came to the Rock once Lauren had left. I thought that it was unnecessary, but nice all the same. I saw her wild side at the kegger and knew that she'd be a fun person to hang out with. The side of Kaylie that really won me over was the one I saw the day after that kegger when we were called in on Sunday. I had to work, and she said they'd cover for me. When Payson had sided with Lauren, Kaylie snapped.

"What happened to trusting and supporting each other?" she asked Payson, a certain edge to her voice.

"In the gym," Payson stated firmly.

Kaylie gave her an Are-you-serious look. "Really? This is where stops? So outside these walls it doesn't matter how treat each other?" None of us said anything. I wanted to see where she was going to take this speech.

"You guys, if we can't spot each other out there, how can we trust each other in here?" Kaylie asked, pointing a finger to the door. Payson looked torn, but eventually gave in.

"We'll cover for you. Go." she had told me. Kaylie and Lauren helped me get out without Sasha noticing. That was the first day I started to consider Kaylie a friend.

Julie walked into our small living room and stood by the couch, waiting for me to say something. She always seemed to know when I was worried about something. Maybe it's because we've known each other so long.

I sat up and leaned my head against the wall. "I'm just having second thoughts," I confessed to my best friend. Julie nodded, motioning for me to continue. "It just seems too good to be true. Things like this don't happen in real life."

Julie sighed wearily and said, "Em, you've got to stop waiting for everything to fall apart. You're always waiting for the bottom to fall, but it's not going to this time." She had been my "therapist" since we were kids. I knew what my issues were, but I couldn't do anything to fix them. I liked to avoid my problems by burying myself in something. Staying busy was key.

I turn to look at my best friend. Julie is dressed in a yellow sequenced tank top and dark jean short with yellow-beaded sandals. Somehow, even when she was stressed and tired, Julie always managed to look like a movie star. "Are you going to miss LA?" I asked curiously. Knowing Julie would miss this place as much I was going to would make me feel better.

"As far as I'm concerned, we're not really leaving," she said with a laugh. I gave her a quizzical look. "Well, our friends are coming with us and we're still going to be living together. It won't be that different from LA," Julie explained.

"Except for the lack of palm trees, waves hitting the shore in the middle of the night, the great clubs, crazy people, and twenty-four hour sushi places.." I listed off one by one. All my favorite things about the City of Angels. A light bulb suddenly went off in my head. "Julie, we should get tattoos to remind us of here!" I shouted excitedly.

Julie looked at me like I was insane. "What are you on?" she asked me suspiciously. I've always been against tattoos, but this seemed like the perfect occasion. We were supposed to leave tomorrow, so it'd have to be today.

"Nothing," I answered honestly. Julie studied for a moment. She was trying to figure out my motive. After a while, she seemed to get it. It was my last chance to something crazy before I went back to training, also known as lock-down.

She finally agreed. "I'm not getting one sober, though." This made me laugh. It was a signature Julie line.

"No duh. I'm going to call Rina to see if she wants to come with us," I told her while searching for my phone. It was sitting on the counter. I grabbed it and called Rina. She refused to get a tattoo but agreed to go to the bar with us. I think that, despite her excitement over going to Boulder, Rina was going to miss LA as much as we were.

Julie forced me to get dressed up. I was only in a pair of nylon short-shorts and a white tank top. I changed into a white silk halter top and leather pants with my hair down and sliver heels. I wrapped bandages around my scars. We left the apartment laughing about something Sam had said earlier. I think I was going to miss the easygoingness of this place the most.


	10. The Tattoos

Damon's POV

I was sitting in the Partymobile, waiting for Emily, Julie, and Rina to show. Everyone else was ready to go. "Where are they?" I asked irritated. I hadn't expected Emily to bail, but she had done it once before. Lauren and Payson seemed to agree with me. She had easily ran away once, so it couldn't be that hard to do again.

Tony's voice quieted us all. "Emily wouldn't bail again. She's not strong enough." This confused me. Why wasn't she strong enough? Lauren and Payson seemed equally baffled. Emily was maybe the strongest of us tall.

"What do you mean?" Payson asked, her eyes soft. She was thinking of the Emily that was guarded, but still strong. My mind flashed to the girl I had encountered in France, the insecure one. Which one was Emily?

"She was broken when she and Julie got here. Emily was a mess. She didn't tell us why, but now it makes sense. She tried to push us away at first, but we somehow got through those heavily guarded walls of hers." Tony replied, his voice solemn. We all sat there shocked. None of us had considered how painful it had been for her to leave. We just knew what it had done to us.

"How is she now?" Lauren asked, her usually bitchy tone gone. Genuine concern replaced it. I'd have to remember to tell Carter that his girlfriend was actually capable of love.

Rick responded this time. "Better, but still broken. I think she truly loves life here, but Emily still has things that need to finished in Boulder before she's fixed."

"We did the best we could," Tony added quietly. I nodded. I couldn't be more thankful of these new friends of hers. They knew her just as well as we did and had made it through the rough spots. Suddenly, someone's phone rang. Rick answered it.

"Hello?" he asked. "Rina, where in the hell are you?" The voice on the other side was muffled. "What? Why would they do that? Okay, so you're on your way? Good. See ya in a few." Rick hung up, a pissed off look on his face. He turned to Sam, who had been silent most of the time. "You're so lucky Julie is your girlfriend, because otherwise she'd be dead right now." Rick said threateningly.

Sam blushed, then asked, "What did Julie do this time?"

Rick exploded. "Those idiots went out, got drunk, and got tattoos. Worst of all, they actually planned it!"

"People actually plan that kind of stuff?" Lauren asked skeptically. I was more than a little baffled myself.

"Apparently the idiots we hang out with do," Sam replied jokingly. Rick shot him a death glare. Tony rolled his eyes, quietly chuckling to himself. I had to admit, the story was funny, but the waiting for them to arrive wasn't.

Payson spotted them walking towards us a half hour after their call. Rina looked like crap, Emily looked somewhat put together, and Julie looked like she had a full night's sleep. "Hey guys!" Julie said perkily. Rina groaned. Emily shot her a glare.

"What? She's annoying." Rina stated grouchily as she was getting into the Partymobile.

"Maybe she wouldn't be so annoying if you hadn't done ten shots the night before," Emily responded calmly.

"Go die," Rina said while lying down on a cot that somehow ended up in the back of the bus.

"Why is there a cot back there?" I asked cautiously. Rick shrugged, almost as if he had no control over his car. Well, technically fire truck.

Tony laughed. "Oh, that's a reminder of Sam's humiliating defeat," he answered with a smirk. Sam just stared intently at his shoes, not saying a word.

Emily cut in. "How did you even find this thing? Isn't supposed to be out in the ocean floating?" I shook my head. I felt out of place with Emily's new friends. I could tell Lauren and Payson were a little intimidated by these people too. It was like there were two Emily's: our Emily, the cautious, guarded one whose dream was to be a gold medalist and their Emily, the one who enjoyed life and didn't proceed with caution, the one who went to clubs and surfed while working a witnessing job. Their Emily was happier than I'd ever seen ours, and I started to regret my decision to come find her.

"Well, some old dude found it on the shore, and since Sam was stupid enough to put his name and address on it, they sent it back to him with a fine," Tony responded with a laugh. Out of all the guys, Tony was the one I liked most of all. There was no bullshit with him.

Julie shook her head. "You're lucky you're good looking," she stated jokingly. Sam just made a face at her. "What? That's not a bad thing."

Lauren changed the topic. "What tattoos did you guys get?" she asked excitedly. She'd probably rat Emily out the moment they step foot in the Rock.

Rina started laughing hysterically. Emily shot her a glare. Julie just smiled and shook her head. "We each got a line from California Gurls," Julie explained. Lauren started to laugh, while Payson just sighed.

"Really?" Payson asked in exasperation. Julie and Rina both pointed to the mastermind behind that brilliant idea. Emily shrugged sheepishly. "Why?"

"It's what I think of when I'm thinking of California. It just seemed right to have Katy Perry's words inked on my shoulder blade." Emily confessed, her eyes glued to her feet.

Tony turned to his sister. "Where did you get yours?" he asked nervously.

"My neck," Rina answered, lifting up her hair so we could see it. It said: California girls, we're unforgettable

Daisy dukes, bikinis on top

Sun-kissed skin, so hot

We'll melt your popsicle

"And you?" Sam asked Julie with a devilish grin. Knowing what he was thinking, she slapped on the shoulder.

"You're perverted. I got mine on the side of my left foot." Julie responded angrily while lifting up her foot. Hers said: California girls, we're undeniable

Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it on lock

West-coast represent

Now put your hands up

We all turned to Emily, but she shook her head no. "I'm not taking off my shirt in front of all these guys."

"Can we get this ride moving?" Rick asked, clearly starting to get irritated.

"Yeah! What are we wanting for?" Lauren asked impatiently. We started to drive, and I just stared out the window and watched the scenery change. Maybe I can help fix Emily after all.


	11. The Reflection

Emily's POV

I must be seriously mentally deranged to be doing what I'm doing. I'm heading back to Boulder, the place I'd been running from for over a year. Some twisted part of me is actually looking forward to going back, while the rest of me is just dreading it. I try to replay Julie's logic in my head. If it doesn't feel right anymore, we can always go back to LA. But, what happens if it does feel right? I don't know if I want to live in Boulder; it doesn't really seem like home. Then again, what the hell would I know about having a home?

My mom was from some hick small town in Texas and would always sigh and say, "I'm so glad I escaped from that hell hole." I always wanted to shout back in her face, "How is this hell hole any better?" I didn't have the spirit to do that to my mother. She was always the optimist, the one who believed in karma and fate and all that crap. I watched her dreams crash and burn throughout my childhood. It made me all the more determined to reach mine. I was a die-hard realist, always worrying about bills and rent. Our roles were reversed, me being the mom and her being the child. I'd say the only impractical thing about me was my dream of Olympic gold.

I have very few memories of my dad. He was never around much. My parents were together until I was about four years old, and then he spilt. My dad wanted to be a rock star, but he never made it. His name was Nick Cross. I've had no contact with him since I was fourteen. He rolled into Houston, where we had been living with an old friend of Mom's. He was trying to make us "a family again." This made me laugh so hard. We were never a family to begin with. My family was Mom and Brian.

My family grew once I arrived at the Rock. It took time, but I slowly let Payson, Kaylie, Lauren, and Sasha in. Payson was like my supportive older sister, always telling me I could do the new move I was scared of on vault. We all admired her strength through good and bad times. Payson was the Rock; it didn't feel right without her.

If Payson was my older sister, Lauren was my bratty younger sister, the one who got everything she wanted. Lauren liked to complain about how she didn't have things handed to her like Kaylie, yet she has a room bigger than our old apartment. She liked to play the poor-me card, but I didn't buy it. Her other act was manipulation, which could be a good thing sometimes. Lauren did have something that reminded all of us why we stayed her friend: heart. Lauren was fiery and passionate, never once doubting our ability to win as a team.

Sasha was like my makeshift dad. He pointed out my flaws and helped me correct them. He was always there for me and would never let me fall. Sasha was tough on the exterior but had a soft spot for his gymnasts on the inside. Like Payson, Sasha was the Rock and had been the moment he stepped into the door. He was everything we stood for: excellence, family, and love of the sport.

t was the one thing that set us apart from other gyms; we were a family, a crazy dysfunctional one at that. I wasn't sure where I fit into that family, but I do know I'm apart of it. I didn't classify Kaylie because no where seemed like a good fit for her. She was our leader, the one who kept the family together. That's why I needed to go back.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Julie. "Earth to Emily!" I turned around to see her give me a quizzical look.

"Sorry, I zoned out," I apologized lamely. Lauren just rolled her eyes at me and continued to text Carter. Payson looked concern but went back to reading Gymnastics Weekly. Rina and Julie exchanged a worried look, while the guys were too preoccupied in their argument of best indie bands.

"La-La Land?" Julie guessed knowingly. I nodded my head. When we were little, I could never pay attention in school. I'd just zone out into my own little world. Whenever the teacher asked me a question and I didn't respond, Julie would tell her, "Emily's in La-La Land." The teacher would ask where it was, and Julie would respond, "I don't know. I've never been there." The teacher would just shake her head while the rest of our classmates laughed. Julie was my go-between.

"So, what's in Boulder?" Sam asked curiously. I laughed to myself, since I had thought the same thing at one point.

"Nothing," Lauren replied casually. I knew she whole-heartedly meant it too. She planned to go live in France after the Olympics, or "go all jet-set like the Beckams" as she put it.

Payson glared at her. "Gymnastics." Lo and I rolled our eyes at Payson's devotion. Then again, I think I'd love gymnastics more if I had almost lost it.

"And?" Rick asked. Payson sat there dumbfounded. Her life revolved around gymnastics; there is nothing else.

"Don't worry, dude, I'll show you guys around," Damon reassured them, his eyes flickering mockingly. "The gym rats don't know where to take you anyways," he added teasingly.

"Watch it, Pizza Boy," Lauren threatened. She had never liked Damon; he was too poor for her friendship. I was a special exception.

"Simmer, Lauren." The words flew out of my mouth before I realized it. Payson and Lauren looked at me in shock. I could feel Damon's gaze on me.

I had been afraid of Lauren since that first day at the Rock. She had been a mega-bitch, worse than her usual. Being new, I was so intimidated and thrown off my game. Then I realized that's exactly what Lauren wanted. I came back with my head held high and knocked her out of third. I didn't know the set of events that would be triggered by that.

"Damn, Emily. Did you actually grow some guts in LA?" Lauren teased. I could tell she was impressed. Lauren was always looking for someone to challenge her.

I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. The setting was starting to change from bright California to dry Nevada. I looked over to my best friend. "Hey, Jules, want to make a pit stop?" I'm secretly asking her if she wants to stop at her favorite place in the world.

Julie's smile was so big that I thought it was going to crack. "Love ya, Em!" she squealed happily. Everyone looked at us curiously, but neither of us said a word.

Some days, while our moms worked, Julie and I would go out exploring. We went through the streets, giggling and trying to avoid the crazies. There are a lot of them in the streets of Las Vegas. While skipping and talking, we stumbled across a candy shop. It was so small that you wouldn't notice it in a hurry. We went in and were greeted by some old lady. She lead us to the counter, tying an apron around her waist. She offered us some chocolate, which we graciously took. It was the best thing we had ever tasted. To this day, I have yet to find better chocolate. We went in there every day for a sugar fix and the company of Tilly, the owner. I missed it so much when we left.

"Rick, make a left turn," Julie commanded. Rick looked like he was going to protest but refrained. He could only fight Julie so many times.

"Where are we going?" Payson asked anxiously. I could tell she was afraid to go off the map. Payson liked everything planned to a tee.

"You'll see," Julie and I say simultaneously. Lauren raises an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you guys weren't twins separated at birth?" Sam asked sarcastically. Julie just smacks him.

"Don't mock the dynamic duo! We rule!" Julie lectured. I laughed. Nobody knew how true that was. Julie was my sister as far as I was considered. Sometimes, family comes to you in unexpected ways.


	12. The Candy Shop

**Damon's POV**

**I was kind of amazed by Julie and Emily's friendship. It was one of those things that didn't seem like it should work, but it did. Julie was, from what I could tell, exuberant and outgoing, the life of the party. She also seemed very stubborn and bossy, traits executed in her relationship with Sam. While the guy did seem like a pushover, Julie seemed to be even pusher than Lauren if that was even possible. I hoped that wasn't possible; it would be dangerous for the race of humanity. Emily was the shy, quiet, serious type. I couldn't imagine her bonding with someone like Julie. The again. Most people never thought Razor and I made sense as friends. I had to agree with them on that.**

**I was staring out the window as we approached Las Vegas. Julie's eyes lit up, the look of someone who felt like they were home. I looked over at Emily and was surprised to see the same look in her eyes. "Julie?" Emily asked her best friend.**

"**Yeah?" Julie answered while observing the outside world from the window. **

"**Are we going to go see your mom?" This question made Julie squeal for joy for a reason I didn't know.**

"**Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she shouted to Emily. Julie ran over to Emily and trapped her in a bear hug. **

"**Get off of me you nutto!" Emily yelling at her friend, laughter distorting her words. **

"**You know you love me," Julie shot back with a smug smile. Emily simply glared at her.**

"**What have I told you about referencing Gossip Girl?" she asked as if she was talking to a toddler.**

**Lauren turned to Julie with a huge smile on her face. "You like Gossip Girl?" she asked excitedly. I smirked at that; it was definitely a show I could picture Lauren liking. Spoiled rich kids with fancy houses and designer clothing who were always complaining about their petty problems. What wouldn't she love about that show?**

"**I worship that show," Julie answered, her face as serious as possible. The two girls started to discuss their favorite show while everyone else tuned her out. Eventually, Emily waved to Rick.**

"**Stop there," she commanded him, pointing to a building a few feet up. We pulled up to a small shop surrounded by huge apartment buildings. **

"**Woah, when did those get there?" Emily asked Julie with a wide-eyed stare.**

"**About two years ago, They tore down the insurance buildings." Julie told her. **

"**It just makes it look so much…" Emily trailed off. I was waiting to see if she'd answer when Julie spoke up.**

"**Small?" she guessed. Emily nodded. "Hey, Rick. Open the doors!" Rick raised his eyebrow, waiting for a please. Instead, Julie shouted, "Now!" I guess it worked because he opened the door. **

**Emily and Julie were the first ones off the bus, Rina not too far behind them. They were practically sprinting towards the small shop. "Slow down!" Tony shouted to them.**

"**Keep up!" Julie replied. I could only roll my eyes at this. We finally got in the shop. Emily ringed the bell on the counter. **

"**Wow, this place is old-fashioned," I said with a laugh. Emily gave me a look. "What?" I defended myself. "That's not a bad thing."**

"**You are not ever allowed to make fun of this shop. If you do, I will hunt you down and kill you," Julie answered with a deadly expression. Emily smacked her. "What? Too harsh?"**

"**Um, yeah," she answered with a roll of her eyes. Looking over at me, she said, "Don't pay any attention to what Julie says. Ever." **

"**Hey!" Julie shouted. She considered it for a moment then added, "She does have a point." **

**Suddenly, a grey-haired old woman came walking out of the back room. "Tilly!" both the girls joyfully shouted. They both ran up and gave her a hug.**

"**Julie! Emily! My, what a surprise!" Tilly said cheerfully. She stepped back to get a good look at them. "Goodness, Emily, you have certainly grown. Still going to win that gold medal for me?" **

**Emily gave her a small smile and responded, "We'll see." The old woman just gave her a knowing look.**

"**So, who are your friends?" Tilly asked with a gentle gaze.**

**Julie started to introduce them. "That's Sam, Tony, Rick, and Rina. We met them in California. Then those two girls over there are Emily's friends from the Rock, Payson and Emily. That's Damon. He's a friend of Emily's from Boulder too." The old woman just nodded. I could tell she knew what was going on just by the wisdom in he eyes.**

"**So, do you girls want your regular?" she asked them kindly. Emily and Julie got the same thing ever time: homemade chocolate chunks, something I learned later. Apparently, it was hard to argue that it wasn't the best chocolate in the world. **

"**Yes, please," they answered. Tilly nodded and brought out a huge tray of it. The girls offered us some first before devouring. Soon, everyone was addicted and insisted on getting some for the road. Emily and Julie hugged Tilly goodbye. Emily gave her the phone number for Boulder before we left.**

"**Time to go see your mom?" I asked Julie curiously. She shook her head.**

"**My mom's shift just started an hour ago. We won't catch her until ten at the earliest. Hours in a casino really suck." Julie explained. Emily nodded her head in agreement. **

"**Why?" Rick stupidly asked. We all just looked at him. "What? It's a good question."**

"**Because the hours you get depend on how willing you are to sleep with the boss," Emily answered bluntly. Everyone must've looked shocked by this. "My mom never got great hours. She was too afraid to sleep with another married man after that one guy's wife shot her with a paintball gun."**

**Julie just laughed. "That was pretty funny. Do you have pictures of that?" **

**Emily nodded her head yes. "Check the scrapbook." Lauren looked like she knew what they were talking about, while Payson and I were confused. **

"**What scrapbook?" Payson asked curiously. Emily grabbed a duffel bag from under the table and rummaged through it before pulling out a purple album covered in glitter and ribbon. **

"**I took this with me when I left. My mom put it together. The last picture is sometime before Worlds." Emily replied, the last part a little harder for her to get out. **

"**Why did you take it?" Lauren asked, her face betraying confusion. I was a little confused myself. You would think that someone trying to run away from their past wouldn't bring a piece of it anyways.**

**Emily looked like she was deep in thought. Finally, she answered, "I didn't want to forget everything." This answer stumped us all: if she didn't want to forget everything, why did she leave? **


	13. The Bulletin Board

Emily's POV

We waited until ten thirty to head over to the Aztec casino, where Julie's mom worked and where my mom used to work. It's only me and Julie since everyone else wanted to sleep. We step into the casino, the familiar smell of smoke and alcohol hitting me immediately. Suddenly, I'm was ten years old again and running around with Julie, trying to find entertainment. The memories made me smile in spite of everything. For every few crappy moments of my childhood, there was at least one good moment. Sure, it wasn't easy growing up the way I did, but it taught me how to deal with life, which was more than what could be said of my teammates.

Now, I know it seems sleazy to have kids running around a casino, but it honestly wasn't that bad. The bartender, Ted, took a liking to us and would show us how to make various drinks, all nonalcoholic of course. Some of the dealers would even let us fill in for them when they needed a cigarette. It was probably illegal, but it did teach me how to play poker. Once in a while, Julie and I would do tricks for the people waiting in the lobby for tips. Most people would give us a few bucks, which we would proceed to spend at the candy shop. For some reason, my mom didn't want Brian hanging around the casino, so he stayed with our neighbor during her shift. This always confused me; why could I be at the casino while Brian couldn't? I knew I would never understand my mom's reasoning skills. If I could, I could also figure out why she dates the men she does.

"Emily? Earth to Emily?" I snapped back into reality. Julie was staring at me, a bemused look on her face.

"What?" I asked in annoyance. She raised her eyebrows, a sign that she knew I had been having a flashback.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" I looked over at my best friend, my expression wistful.

"Yeah, it does." A thought popped into my head. "Does Ted still work here? And Marla?"

"Yep. Both are still here. Marla got married to a nice guy. A little stupid, but nice. Ted's still Ted." Julie replied with a laugh. She studied my face for a moment. "Want to go say hi? They always are asking about you."

"Sure," I answered softly. Being back in Vegas made feel, if anything, more lonely than ever. The closer I got to Boulder the worse I started to feel. It was giving me a lot of second thoughts about going back. I didn't know how my gymnastics would compare to everyone else's, and I didn't feel the same passion for the sport anymore.

We walked over to the bar, sliding our sunglasses on. Julie thought it would be funny to play a little trick on poor Ted. I was originally against put was somehow persuaded into it. Julie could probably convince me to do anything. I always told her she should become a car salesmen. Julie put on her most seductive smile and leaned against the bar, sticking her chest out. I suppressed a laugh. "Hey, handsome. Can you give a couple of lonely girls a drink?" she asked a low, sultry voice. Ted's face turned three shades of red before he gave an answer.

"Of course I can. What would you like?" Ted answered, a charming smile on his face.

I decided it was time for me to jump in. "So you're okay with serving a drink to a minor?" Ted jumped back, flabbergasted. Julie glared at me, or at least that's what I assumed she was doing behind her sunglasses. "Well, we happen to be police officers, so I'm going to have to ask you to put your hands up." Julie caught on and smiled at me.

"Yeah, and you're going to have to empty your pockets as well," Julie added with a devious grin. Ted started digging through his pockets, pulling out his wallet, keys, and a small bag of pot. I stared at it, wide-eyed, before talking off my sunglasses.

"Ted, put that away!" I hissed before he could even comprehend what was going on. He listened to me and shoved it back into his pocket. Julie slid off her glasses too.

Ted laughed at himself. "My, my, my. It's the two troublemakers." He came out from behind the bar and hugged both of us. "Emily, haven't seen you in a while. Been keeping up with your gymnastics though. How's your mom doing?"

"She's good. Married again, to a rich lawyer. She's happy." I told him through gritted teeth. It took all my willpower to fake happiness for my mother's third marriage.

"And Brian?" This question kicked my brain into overdrive. I started to think about all the ways my brother was better off than I was. He could enjoy life, even in a wheelchair. My life as a gymnast had so many rules, while Brian was free to live. He could date a girl, go to a party, and make real friends. Of course, I always felt bad for thinking these things. At least I can use my legs.

"Still a genius in a wheelchair," I answered impatiently. I don't know why I was so impatient. I was starting to get that wild impulse feeling again.

"Good," Ted said, sensing my discomfort. He turned to Julie, "Hey! Where have you disappeared to? Your mom said she had no clue where you were."

Julie and I exchanged a look. I didn't feel like going into a detailed explanation of my story. "Emily decided she needed a break from her life, so we spent six months traveling, arrived in LA, and stayed there the remainder of the year." Julie explained quickly.

Ted merely nodded, glancing over at me. I could tell he was trying to study my expression. "So, where's Marla?" I asked in an attempt to break the silence.

"She's in the break room," he answered cautiously. "And so is your mom," Ted told Julie. We thanked him and headed towards the back.

We walked in to see my mom's only two friends giggling over some funny gossip. Julie's mom lit up when she saw her. Alyssa hadn't changed much since the last time I had seen her a year ago. I always forgot how alike my friend and her mom looked until they were standing in the same room. Julie was practically a younger version of her mother. The two embraced in a tight hug. After they were done, Alyssa gave me one too. "Aw, sweetie, it's so good to see you." She gave me a knowing smile. "You've been through hell, but it will all get better." I nodded, wiping away the tear that had somehow fallen down my cheek. Seeing her only made me miss my own mom.

To Julie, she said, "You're a good friend. Now, what have you two done to your hair?"

Julie just gave her a Cheshire Cat grin and replied, "I streaked it myself. Emily's lame and decided to only let me do one streak, but I went full out on myself."

Alyssa laughed. "I'll say you did. The look does suit you though." Julie smiled proudly. "So, what brings you two wanderers back here?"

I looked over to Julie, who gestured for me to explain. I started slowly. "Well, some old friends came to visit us. They somehow convinced me to go home for a month and see how I like it. So, we're driving all the way back to Boulder with our friends."

"You're doing the right thing, Emily," Alyssa told me, a big smile on her face. "Your mom's going to be thrilled to see you." I sighed.

"I know," was I all I could say in response. Julie and her mom exchanged a look but said nothing. Having my best friend whom I consider a sister and her mother who is like another mother to me conspiring in the same room can never be good.

Julie ran over to a deli to get some dinner for us while Alyssa went to the bathroom. I studied the small break room. It hadn't changed much. I walked over to the bulletin board and saw that my name was still carved into the wall below beside Julie's. I looked up at the board and was surprised by what I saw. There were newspaper clippings and pictures of me throughout my gymnastics career, from the first meet at the Rock to Worlds was all there. I stared at this in shock, not knowing what to think. These people cared enough about me that they would actually take the time to keep track of me?

"Julie and Alyssa started it. Before you knew it, everyone was adding stuff to it." I turned around to see Marla leaning against the door rail, observing me. She hadn't changed much either. Her black hair was shorter, and I noticed a wedding ring on her finger.

"Why?" I asked softly. I was so confused on why all these people still believed in me. "Why would they keep it up after…"

"Because they believe in you," Marla answered almost immediately. "They think you can.." I interrupted her.

"Win a gold medal?" I asked sarcastically. No one else believed I could; I'm not sure even I believed I could.

Marla shot me a glare. "No." I stared at her. "They believe you can do more than that. They believe, we believe, that you can do whatever you set your mind to." She pauses for a moment. "You're a strong girl, Emily, stronger than anyone ever has given you credit for. If winning a gold medal isn't what you're meant to be doing, I'm sure you'll find something else that is meant to be. Nothing can stop you. And, no matter what, we will stand behind you. We have faith in you."

I asked one last question. "Why doesn't anyone else? I mean, I have to prove myself to everyone. My teammates, my coaches, everyone in the gymnastics world. I'll always be the scholarship girl, the charity case. When will it stop?" It was the one question that had been haunting me the moment I had first stepped into the Rock.

"People believe more in appearances than the truth," Marla answered carefully. "They look at you and see a charity case. They don't see what one of us would see." She stopped but continued. "Appearances only take a person so far." And on that note, Julie returned with food.

"Did I miss anything?" she asked, noticing my expression. I merely shook my head and sat down. While eating a tuna sandwich, I though about what Marla said. How would everyone see me now?


	14. The Confession

Payson's POV

It was around three in the morning when Emily and Julie finally crept back onto the bus. We had decided to sleep in the bus while the boys stayed in the flee-invested motel. Surprisingly, Lauren had been all for it. "Sleeping on the bus is much better than sleeping in that garbage can," she had stated in typical Lauren fashion. Lauren and Rina were sound asleep while I laid awake, thinking about my new routine. I still couldn't get use to being an artistic gymnast. Even though I had the moves down, I still didn't feel like one.

Emily and Julie dragged their pillows and sleeping bags over by the driver's seat, carefully avoiding stepping on Lauren. I tried to fall asleep, but my mind wouldn't let me. I could hear Emily and Julie whispering about something. I strained my ears to hear what they were saying.

"Hey, Julie, do you think I'm doing the right thing?" Emily asked, her voice squeaky. It was silent for a bit before Julie answered.

"I don't know, Em. Does it feel right?" I was startled by both Emily's question and Julie's answer. Of course it was the right thing to do! We needed Emily back at the Rock; it would help boost the low morale. Then I realized that she wasn't asking whether it was the right thing to do or not. Emily was asking whether or not it was the right thing to do for her. We came all this way and never considered whether or not it was the right thing for Emily. We only considered if it was the right thing for us.

"I have no clue," Emily responded sadly. This hit me like a rock. I guess I didn't know Emily as well as I thought I did.

"I know you still love gymnastics." So now I knew the reason Emily said yes in the first place. She couldn't hate the sport if she was willing to leave a life she was perfectly happy in to go all the way back to Boulder.

"Yeah, I do. It's what saved me, ya know? I hate the world, though. It's not about the love of the sport for all of them. It's about winning and power. I just want to do gymnastics." I had to admit she was right. Kelly Parker and Ellen Beals weren't in the sport because they loved it. They were in to win and have power. That's why all of us were in the sport.

The two said nothing after that. I woke up in the morning to smell freshly brewed coffee and doughnuts. I got up off the floor and grabbed a cup of coffee off the table. "Morning," Lauren said sweetly. I gave her a confused look. She was never this sweet in the morning. "I've had three cups of coffee," she explained after seeing the look on my face.

"Ah, that explains it," I answered with a roll of my eyes. At that moment, Emily and Julie entered the bus, both dressed and awake.

"Ah, see! I told you the smell of coffee and doughnuts would wake them up. It's an universal thing, Em." Julie said with a laugh. She turned to us. "Boys will be here in half an hour. My mom will let you use the shower at her apartment, so hurry up." Lauren grabbed her stuff and ran out of the bus. Julie followed to show her where the apartment was. That left Emily and me alone on the bus.

Emily sat down and grabbed a doughnut. I cringed at the though of all the calories in one of those. "How can you eat that? It's an hour worth of exercise." I asked, suddenly hungry. If there was one thing I didn't miss about being injured, it was the food. Being a gymnast required a very strict diet. No gymnast in her right mind would even look at a doughnut; eating it would make your leo hate you.

Emily laughed. "It's just a doughnut, Payson. It can't kill you," she responded nonchalantly. "And besides, I ate doughnuts while I was training and I was perfectly fine. The diet they try to force on us isn't healthy. There's a reason so many gymnasts have eating disorders." We both stopped and though of Kaylie.

I remembered going to the hospital and waiting to hear something, anything. I tortured myself over not knowing that something had been up. I'd been so wrapped up in trying to fix my career that I hadn't paid attention to what was going on around me. I hadn't noticed that one of my best friends since we were nine years old was sick. Luckily, Kaylie had been able to bounce back quickly. She got better with the help of her new secret boyfriend, Austin Tucker, and was ready to compete at Worlds. Kelly Parker had somehow convinced the National Committee that they owned Kaylie that much. When I asked her why she did it, she replied, "I don't want to beat Kaylie at Worlds simply because she didn't compete. I want to beat her because I was better." This made me shake my head. It was typical Kelly Parker. To the surprise of everyone, Kaylie hadn't beaten her. It had been Emily who won the all-around. No one was really sure how it happened. I think Emily won because no one was keeping track of her or even considering her a contender. She trained hard and surprised them.

After a while, Emily looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why do you love gymnastics?" It was a hard question. I wasn't sure why I loved gymnastics. It came to me as naturally as breathing did. I didn't know who'd I be without it.

"I'm not sure. I just know that I love it. Gymnastics is like a part of me. It's who I am. If you cut it out, I don't know who I would be." I stopped for a moment before continuing. "Everyone is so excited for life after the Olympics, but I dread it because I can't think of life after the Olympics."

"There is a life after gymnastics, Pay," Emily told me with a wistful smile. "It's a pretty good life, too. There are new people and places. My favorite part is the limitless opportunities. You can be whoever you want to be. No one is controlling you."

I listened as Emily told me stories of her road trip with Julie and the things they'd done: bungee jumping off a mountain in Wyoming, herding cattle in Texas, and clubbing in Los Angles. I made a mental note to make sure she didn't tell any of this to the younger gymnasts. Her stories alone would make anyone want to quit the sport and travel the country. I also listened to the bad parts: when someone stole their wallets leaving them broke, the time Emily had to punch some loser in the face for feeling her up in a club, and all the people who had tried to swindle them. The real world sounded like a dangerous place to me. I was just starting to figure out life after gymnastics, and I wasn't sure where I'd end.


	15. The Return to the Rock

Emily's POV

Once everyone was ready, we started driving. Sam and Rina spent the majority of the drive making out much to the disgust of everyone around them. Rick shouted, "Get a room!", every five minutes. Payson was napping peacefully, oblivious to the chaos around her. I always thought it would be nice to be like Payson. She lived in her own little world of herself and gymnastics. The problems of the real world had always been too real for me to ignore. I've been fixing everything as long as I could remember. When I was little, wherever we were living, I'd always search for a shooting star. It was the last little piece of innocence in me. If I saw a shooting star, I'd wish to be someone else. Most people would say that's a sad wish for a little kid, but there was nothing I wanted more. I wanted to be someone with a real family, with a normal mom that baked cookies and went to PTG meetings. My wishes never came true. I remained me, and my mother stayed the same. I always remembered that moment whenever Brian would ask me why I'm so negative. He knew most of our past but not all of it. I made sure of that.

Lauren was busy at work on her nails. She was painting them a light pink that felt very Kaylie. I looked at the bottle and realized it was Kaylie's nail polish or at least her color. I felt my temper flare up, but I said nothing. Damon was sitting in the corner writing a new song. For some reason, I didn't find this as hot as I used to. Something in my heart was starting to tell me that, sadly, I had grown out of Damon Young. I tried to ignore this, however, because I was afraid to realize what else I had grown out of.

Rick and Tony took turns driving. I preferred Tony behind the wheel since Rick had a tendency to spend. Being in a car accident would feel too familiar for me to handle. When Rick wasn't driving, he was trying to hit Lauren rather unsuccessfully. I knew she really loved Carter by the way she was ignoring a guy who girls usually couldn't stop staring at. Of course, once they heard him talk they'd start running for the hills. When Tony wasn't driving, he joined our game of I Have Never. The way we played, you held both your hands out, and if you had done something someone said, you put a finger down. The first person to lose all ten fingers lost. It was a great sleepover game and effective in getting gossip. Julie and I had always loved this game. As we got older, the things got funnier and more mature. It was my turn again. It was currently my turn. Julie had five fingers left, same number as me, while Tony had seven. I decided to go after Julie first.

"I have never…" I trailed off for dramatic effect. "Tried to put makeup on a cat." I smiled at the memory of Julie with a mascara wand chasing her poor cat Fluffy around her apartment. Fluffy was traumatized by the experience and refused to get out from under the bed for two days. Lucy sheepishly put her finger down. It was her turn.

"I have never… had dark hair!" Julie stated victoriously. I raised my eyebrow. It was a lot easier to play the game if you knew the person really well. That was the only way you'd be able to know if they were lying.

"What about that rebellious phase you had three years ago when you went all punk rock and dyed your hair pitch black?" I asked knowingly. Julie always said that she blocked that year out of her memory. It's the only time in the course of time I've known her that she's ever had the want to change herself.

Tony cracked up laughing. "Julie as a punk rocker? That like a hooker wearing a nun's habit!" It was a funny thought. Julie was the picture of sunshine. It threw me off guard when she sent me a picture of her new look. I immediately sent her a letter saying that it wasn't her. Thankfully, the look only lasted a year. Julie's only explanation that she wanted to try something new. Now she stuck to less drastic changes like streaks in her hair or new makeup. That was the way I liked Julie. She was the most consistent person in my life. I wasn't sure how much that meant since everyone in my life was so damn unpredictable, but it still meant something. It was the reason I had called her the day of the accident over anyone else. I knew I could count on her.

We continued playing, and I eventually won. Before we knew it, Rick was pointing out the Welcome to Boulder sign. I gulped. This was the moment I had been dreading for so long. Julie squeezed my hand reassuringly. I smiled at her. We drove through the tiny town, the newcomers commenting on every little detail.

"Ooh, a Pizza Shack! There's a really good one in San Diego…"

"It feels weird being a place with no water."

"Where's the mall?"

"Why would anyone want to live here?"

"The mountains look ready for snowboarding. I can't wait to hit the slopes."

Finally, we parked in the Rock parking lot. A lot of people were staring at Rick's unique vehicle. He took it was a sign of admiration and proclaimed how much he like Boulder already. "These people have good taste," Rick stated as he jumped at to talk to the people examining his vehicle. All of us except Lauren and Payson rolled our eyes. Rick loved to be center of attention.

Everyone looked at me like they were waiting for the cue to leave. "Fine, let's go," I grumbled under my breath. Julie and I walked side by side with Payson and Lauren walking behind us. Tony, Rina, Rick, and Sam stayed close behind us. Damon stayed to watch the former fire truck, probably sensing I didn't want him there. They say there are powers in numbers, and at that moment, I really prayed that was true. We walked into the Rock, and I took everything in.

Nothing in the gym had really changed. Not that I had expected it to. The gym itself never changed. Only its gymnasts changed, sometimes in good ways and sometimes in bad. I couldn't pinpoint which applied to me. I tried to find people I knew. I saw Becca goofing around on the trampoline, my mother watching from the parents' section, and Sasha on the floor critiquing a gymnast. I restrained myself from rolling my eyes. That was the biggest thing I hated about gymnastics. The idea that, no matter how great your trick, the only thing that mattered was how well you followed their rules. It made absolutely no sense. If a gymnast pulls of an amazing flip on floor, she shouldn't be deducted because she didn't point her toes. The sport should be about the creativity and skill level of your tricks, not how well you can point your toes.

I was about to walk towards my mother when someone came up to me and asked, "Emily, is that you?" I looked up to see Nicky Russo, one of Kaylie's many suitors. Just my luck. Unfortunately, everyone heard him and came flocking towards me. My return wasn't going to be as low-key as I thought it would be.

I watched Sasha make his way through the hoard of gymnasts. "Emily?" he asked cautiously, like he didn't recognize me at all. Then again, I was hard to recognize these days.

"Emily!" my mother shouted cheerfully, running up to me. I sighed. This was going to harder than I thought.


	16. The News

Austin's POV

I was working out in my lake house when the phone rang. Usually I'd ignore it in case it was Ellen Beals or my manager, but some kind of sixth sense told me I needed to answer the phone. I ran from the exercise room to the kitchen in record time, grabbing the phone and answering it. "Hello?" I greeted eagerly.

"Hey, Austin. Why so excited?" I groaned. Sixth sense my ass. Kelly Parker's voice was amused, almost like she was mocking me. Hell, she was mocking me.

"Kelly, always a pleasure," I replied sarcastically. "Do you want something?" I was friends with the crazy bitch for reasons I'd yet to figure out yet. Actually, that wasn't true. Kelly made sure Nicky and I didn't do something stupid that would kill us and acted like that little annoying cricket in the Pinocchio movie. Still, I knew Kelly, and I knew she hated talking over the phone.

"I have some news for you," she answered, her voice serious. I was intrigued already.

"Okay, let me guess. Russo finally knocked you up?" I guessed with a laugh. Somehow, I could feel her fuming from over the phone.

"No, you asshole. And next time I see you, you're getting a swift kick in the shins for that," Kelly warned. I waited for her to continue. "Emily Kmetko is back." I felt my jaw drop. Those were definitely not the words I'd expected to come out of her mouth. I nearly dropped the phone in shock. "Austin, are you still there?"

"Meet me at the Pizza Shack in an hour," I said before hanging up the phone. I sat down at the table and stared into space. Emily was back, I couldn't remember the last time I had thought about her. Well, I kind of could. I just remember being at Kaylie's funeral and dropping a rose into her grave. I had looked up at the sky and wondered where Emily was. How she could let us go through this alone. I remembered hating her so much at that moment. For not being there, for not having to see everyone from the Rock sobbing over Kaylie's casket. Of course, my grief made me forget that Emily had actually been there when Kaylie died. That must've been hard. I knew it was hard for Payson. She hadn't been able to attend the funeral, stating that it was too hard. People started to treat Payson like she was going to break.

I guess people started to treat me that way too. I was seen as Kaylie's grieving boyfriend. For some reason, this pissed me off. I didn't want their sympathy. I was freakin' Austin Tucker, for crying out loud. So even though my heart was torn on the inside, I acted like it was nothing. I took a week to mourn over her, and then I started to act like myself again. This disgusted Lauren and Payson, who could barely look me in the eyes anymore. Payson seemed to understand a little bit, but I could still see the judgment in her eyes. For the first time in a while, I missed Emily. She never judged me no matter what I did. I pinned it down to the fact that we both came from the same shitty backgrounds. We were both self-trained gymnasts who came from struggling working-class families. Emily always saw where I was coming from; she could see past the womanizing, bad-boy image I projected. That was probably the reason we became good friends.

I looked over at the clock and remembered my lunch date with Kelly. Well, not a real date. Just lunch with a friend. I'd feel pretty bad for any guy who tried to go out on a date with her. Russo would probably kill the punk. I went into my room and changed into regular clothes. I locked my house, hopped on my motorcycle, and drove to the Pizza Shack. I walked in and spotted Kelly and Nicky sitting in a booth. Kelly waved me over, and I walked towards them. I slide into the side opposite of the love birds. They really needed to just go out already because it was getting nauseating to watch them.

We sat in silence for a few minutes until Kelly got impatient. "Aren't you going to ask me about her?" she asked, her expression annoyed. I simply shrugged.

"Just tell me what you know," I said in response. Kelly took a deep breathe before talking.

She leaned in closer to the table like most girls did while gossiping. "Well, apparently she went on this road-trip with some old friend and ended up in California. That songwriter guy,", I rolled my eyes at the mention of Damon, "went to California with Payson and Lauren to look for her. Emily wasn't happy to be found. After a little arm twisting, they managed to convince her to come back."

I nodded, taking in the bare facts. I knew which friend Kelly was referring to, and I knew that Emily had probably been extremely turned off by Damon looking for you. The girl had always been independent, and she had never appreciated anyone looking out for her no matter the intention.

Nicky glanced at me before adding, "She's been at the Rock for a week or two now. Sasha put her back in the game immediately. Surprisingly, she was still in shape. It was like she never had stopped doing gymnastics." This made me smile, because knowing Emily she probably hadn't. "Her gymnastics got a lot better. There's more confidence, but some of the passion is gone." I roll my eyes. Only he would bring up gymnastics. I had to give my best friend credit. Nicky was a lot more focused than I'd ever been, but I didn't think that necessarily made a good gymnast. The theory I had was that focusing only on gymnastics didn't make you a better gymnast. If anything, it handicapped you. Of course, nobody would listen to this theory of mine.

My two friends kept eyeing me nervously as we ordered and ate our pizza. Finally, I got fed up with it. "What?" I shouted in frustration.

"Aren't you going to yell at us for not telling you sooner?" Nicky asked me anxiously. I laughed at the worried expression on his face. It made him look like a monkey.

"No," I replied with a shrug. I looked down at my watch. "Sorry, I have to go. Still hanging out tomorrow?" They nodded. "See ya!" I threw down a twenty for the pizza and got up.

"Have a hot date or something?" Kelly teased as I made my way to the door.

"Not exactly," I responded with a smirk. If only she knew my plan… I walked out and leaned against my motorcycle, grabbing my cell phone out of my pocket. I opened it up and dialed a number. "Hey, Larry, it's Austin. Look, I need you to call Emily Kmetko and ask her to meet me at the Pizza Shack tomorrow at five. There's something I need to discuss with her." My assistant simply said yes, and I hung up so he could make the arrangements. My plan was going through.

Ever since I decided I didn't want to complete, I'd felt hollow inside, empty. There was a part of me missing, and I knew what it was. I missed gymnastics even though I didn't miss the world. So, I decided to take a few meetings and see where they would end up. One of them gave me a great idea. I decided to open up my own gym and run it my way. There would be time taken out of the day for school, and we'd have social events. I wanted to combine high school with gymnastics. I started to look for locations and employees. I had a feeling Emily would be perfect for head coach along with me. I hopped on my motorcycle and drove off, the thought of my own gym still taking over my thoughts.


	17. The Meeting

Emily's POV

I was sitting on a stool by the counter in apartment and flipping through our mail when Julie flew in like a tornado. Her blonde hair was bouncing up and down, and her eyes had a mischievous glint to them. Without looking up from what I was doing, I asked my old friend, "What did you do now? Duct tape Rick to his bed again?"

"Sadly, no," Julie replied with a laugh. "That was really funny, though…" We both took a moment to remember that hilarious day. After Rick had made a very offense comment about Julie's butt, she had decided to get some good old-fashioned revenge. Of course, she practically has a PhD in pranking, so the tried and true whip cream and feather trick wouldn't suffice. Instead, Julie took three rolls of duct tape and, after sneaking into Rick's room at three in the morning, thoroughly taped him to his bed. The best part of the prank was the fact that Rick tends to, unfortunately, sleep in the nude. Personally, I would've been happy never knowing that little fact. Julie being Julie used it for her own pleasure. When Rick woke up and couldn't move his body, he panicked. He called for help, but we all ignored him for a good hour or two just as punishment. After that, Tony, being the humanitarian he is, cut Rick out of the tape. Rick had been mad at us for a total of five hours, an all-time high for him. The dude was just incapable of staying mad at anyone; it was probably one of his better qualities.

"Anyways, back to what I was saying." Julie paused for dramatic effect. "I got a call from Austin Tucker today." The last statement made me do a double take. Surely, she hadn't said Austin Tucker. I felt my jaw drop. Sensing my shock, Julie continued talking. "He said that he called me because that there was a good chance you wouldn't pick up the phone if he had called you. He wants to meet us for lunch at the Pizza Shack. Says that he has something important to discuss with you. And being a gentleman, he invited me along."

I snorted. "Austin Tucker a gentleman? Yeah, right. That's like calling Sasha a big softie," I replied, sarcasm dripping out of my voice. "And what is so important that he couldn't just call me and talk about it?"

Julie shrugged. "I have no clue, but whatever it is, I would go. Don't underestimate this guy. Everyone else did, and look what happened. He won a gold medal. Clearly, there's more to Austin than meets the eye." She paused for a moment before remembering something. "In fact, weren't you the one who wrote those exact words in a letter that said quote, 'Austin's not a bad guy'?"

I looked down at my feet. My best friend did have a valid point. I had said that stuff about Austin because, at the time, I had honestly believed it. I started to understand Austin when he came to the Rock. After a while, I realized that the two of us weren't that different. We were both self-trained gymnasts that came from unstable homes, and we both were trying to build reputations to hide us from our pasts. I was trying to win Olympic gold so that people wouldn't remember I had trained at the Y in Fresno before coming to the Rock, and Austin partied and womanized to try to forget the fact his family lived in a crummy van most of his childhood. We both wanted better than what we were given. Knowing that, I was able to befriend Austin. His charms didn't faze me like they did other girls. I could see past the smoke and mirrors. Of course, after the accident, I started to doubt that it was all really just an act. Keeping up with gymnastics news also meant I kept up with Austin Tucker news, and I wasn't crazy about what I read. The parties, the drugs, and the Kaylie look-alikes… The Austin I thought I knew appeared to be an illusion.

I sighed. "Fine, I'll go," I grudgingly agreed. Julie started to do her happy dance. I rolled my eyes at her. She grabbed my arm and forced me to dance with her. After a few minutes, we had the radio on and were belting out all the top forties hits. Julie was in the middle of a solo while I was playing air guitar when the rest of our friends got home. Rick and Sam just stood there laughing their asses off. Tony shook his head and took a seat on the couch to watch the show. Rina just took her shoes off and joined us by playing air drums. Eventually, we all collapsed on the floor from laughter. I loved the fact that I had brought some of LA to Boulder with me. If I were being totally honest, I would admit that I enjoyed the LA parts of my life more than the Boulder parts nowadays.

The time came for Julie and me to go meet Austin. Julie was wearing a long-sleeved purple thermal with a white denim vest over it with dark flare jeans, lace-up fuzzy boots, and feather earrings. Her hair was up in a casual yet sexy bun. One thing my best friend had loved about coming to Boulder was the fact she had needed to buy all new clothes. Julie loved any excuse for a shopping spree. I was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt that said Rocky Mountains Gym on it with faded jeans and navy blue Converse. My hair was in a high ponytail, and I had very little make-up on. I wasn't dressing to impress anyone. We were meeting Austin after all. He's the same guy who showed up to a charity dinner in shorts.

We drove to the Pizza Shack in silence. I tried to think of what Austin would want, but I couldn't come up with anything. The guy was as unpredictable as his reputation made him out to be. I blocked out all the bad thoughts and tried to focus on the good. Maybe now I'd be able to stop being so mad at him. Maybe I could let go of some of the past. A girl could only dream.


	18. The Author's Farewell

**Hey! I know this is ending the story on a cliffhanger, but I just don't know how to finish this so I'm going to leave this open-ended. Does Emily stay at the Rock or go back to Calfornia? It's for you to decide. There's a slim chance I might come back to write one last chapter or maybe an epilogue, but I wouldn't bet money on it. Thank you so much for your support! This was the first story I uploaded to fanfiction, and 21 stories later I'm still proud of it. I'd like to thank some of my regular reviewers: c17luvsjesus, tayaboo72, The True Elemental Alchemist, and sissy-sara88. Thank you so much for your encouragement and suggestions every chapter. Everyone else who reviewed, I'd also like to say thank you. I appreciate every review I'm given. **


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